There is another curious breakdown in the way people react to the news of a pregnancy.
Group I.
With a beatific expression on their faces:
“Oh, you are SO going to love this! This will be such an amazing experience for you. The first time your baby smiles or recognizes you. . . that is simply priceless. And then you can observe her discovering the world. Like the first time she sees a tree or a kitten and looks so happy. . . And you will be discovering the world together with her. Of course, life is in no way meaningless without a child but with a child there are so many new and great experiences.”
Group II.
With a sadistic gleam in their eyes:
“Ah! Now you are going to see! Forget all about publishing or reading books. You won’t get to read a book in years! Or traveling! No more traveling for you, ha ha! And all of these expensive imported olive oils you keep buying. Pshaw! It will be just the Dollar Store for you from now on. And forget about having time to cook or money to go to good restaurants. Get used to take-out pizza and Ronald McDonald. Ha ha ha!”
Clarissa's Blog 
If I know that the baby is wanted I’d react as in Group I. If I know that the baby is unwanted then I’d be totally silent.
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There is no reason for unwanted babies to get born in this country. We still have our reproductive rights.
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Can you bookmark this post for yourself and come back to it in a year and let us know who was right? 😀
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Believe me, you will know more details than you will want to know. 🙂 🙂
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I wish it were the case that every baby born were wanted, but it certainly happens that women have babies they don’t want, despite the availability of reproductive care. This is the reason many women don’t shout congratulations at the first sign of morning sickness anymore.
Of course, many of the unwanted babies are in fact wanted but also resented (if a woman carries the child because her partner wants one, say). In either case, the pregnancy is not a harbinger of joy as we so often imagine it to be.
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“if a woman carries the child because her partner wants one, say”
What are you talking about? First, there’s way more unwanted conception by men than women in the Western World actually. Second, in the rare cases when a woman carries the child because her partner wants one, the man is probably a manipulative rapist.
Personally, I’m anti-natalist and pro-abortion (but not a statist), and women are more critical than men against my position.
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For years, I have been the recipient of the following speech from many different women:
“Why don’t you have children? Is it because N. doesn’t want any? Remember that you can just go ahead and get pregnant without waiting for him to come around, and he’ll have to deal with it. This is exactly what I did. What do you mean it was a horrible thing to do? Would you prefer for my son / daughter never to be born? How can you say something so cruel?”
The last time I heard this speech directed at me I freaked out so badly that my blood pressure just shot up. The idea that somebody who’d known me for decades would think I’d be capable of something so horrible was just intolerable.
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I’m not sure this is a good thing for you to tell as much people as you told about your pregnancy.
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It’s OK, I’m not superstitious. 🙂
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In my family we usually just go with the old standby, “God help us all! She’s spawning!”
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Me: Sadistic gleam. My wife and I have had very litle help since our son was born. My advice? If you have enough money hire a nanny.
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Yes!!! That’s the best advice. We did not have a nanny and regretted it.
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Having no child-raising experience of my own, I’m not qualified to offer you either reaction. However, I must confess, I am curious to see how your beliefs about child-rearing hold-up under experimental test.
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I know for a fact that there is an entire group of unhinged folks out there eagerly awaiting my accounts on how I beat her, sleep with her, stick my breasts in her mouth until she graduates high school, medicate her to the gills, and tell everybody what a huge victim I am in the process.
Let them wait sitting down, as we say in Spanish. 🙂 🙂
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