Ideal Work Conditions

~ Clarissa

One person’s heaven is another person’s hell. Here is Jonathan Mayhew’s list of ideal work conditions. It is obvious that I would not survive in his dream conditions, and he would dislike mine. This is one of the most beautiful things about academia: every scholar is very different and complex and can offer students a glimpse into a separate multi-layered universe that she or he is.

So here is what would need to happen to make my work conditions (that are very good to begin with, I have to confess) absolutely perfect:

1. The 2:2 teaching load (meaning 2 courses per semester) as opposed to the 3:3 I now have.

2. My students would be less limited financially than they are, and I could assign any readings I wanted instead of being limited by what the Textbook Rental service is willing to provide or what can be accessed for free because the copyright has expired. I only studied at universities for well-off people where profs easily assigned $1,000 worth of books for every course each semester. Here I had to learn to live in the real world where people have limited amounts of money.

3. The administration would stop trying to bully us with endless discussions of funding cuts, layoffs, etc.

4. People would engage in psychological hygiene and  not dump their emotional garbage on colleagues or students.

5. Colleagues at other departments would be less terrified of getting bad teaching evaluations and would not chicken out of teaching academic writing.

6. There would be a coffee-maker and a coffee lounge at the department with a good selection of coffees. I would not mind paying for the good selection of coffees with my own money. We are Foreign Languages and Literature, for Pete’s sake! We need a coffee-machine.

7. At least half of language courses currently taught at my department would be cancelled permanently. (Can anybody explain to me what goals courses like Advanced Conversation and Advanced Grammar achieve that cannot be achieved in regular literature courses?)

8. I could teach a course on  Spanish literature in translation which is now an area that has been unfairly occupied by the English lit people. Even a very good translation of Don Quijote does not mean the novel is part of English literature.

9. The writing center would have Spanish-language tutors who would help students improve their academic writing in Spanish.

10. I know this last point will make me a freak among my colleagues but my favorite size for a literature course is 20-25 students. For a language course, however, the ideal size is 8-10 students. Usually, it is the other way round but these are the numbers that work for me. This semester I had 22 students in my literature course, and it was the best course ever. It was a far greater success than my literature courses with 4, 6, and 9 students. The 6-9 student course was a lot more lecture-based than the 22-student course which was about 95% discussion and student participation.

And one last thing that is so unattainable that I don’t even include it in this list: ideally, I would have a shower in my office. We live in a climate where the temperature is above 80F 7 months a year and above 90F 5 months a year. So imagine what happens when people have to run from one building to another while carrying stacks of books and papers.

And what would make your workplace perfect?

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Published by Clarissa

64 thoughts on “Ideal Work Conditions”

  1. 1. Zero noise. I understand most people can’t deal with a lot of noise, but even the sound of a clock ticking is torture to me. If I need to concentrate I need silence.

    2. Lots of breathing space. I like to pace up and down when I’m doing schoolwork. I have no idea why. Maybe moving around gets my brain juices going, or maybe I need to work off the adranaline from the stress of writing. Either way, I need lots of room to walk around, muttering half-formed ideas at myself.

    3. LOTS. OF. CAFFIENE.

    4. If I’m drawing or animating, a fuckton of paper supplies. That includes pencils (preferably mechanical), paper, and erasers. This is because I hold the world record for mistake:success ratio. I get through a couple dozen of pieces of paper for two drawings.

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  2. I am not sure what my ideal working conditions are; if I come up with a list I shall post it.

    However, I do want to respond to your #7. You learned a new language as an adult. Most people have a very difficult time doing this; even the oft-mentioned ‘ten thousand hours of work’ (five years at 40 hours per week) is not nearly enough. So, cancelling these courses would make all but a very few of the non-native speakers helpless in the literature copurses.

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    1. I’m not saying all language courses should be cancelled, God forbid. Just the overabundance of advanced grammar and conversation. If you want to get students to talk why not just make them talk about culture, literature, film, history, etc of the Hispanic world? We have a real problem at pur department where students who are not only fluent but sometimes even native speakers take grammar courses ad infinitum. The usefulness of that is nil after a certain point. The students like these courses because they are so easy. I believe, however, that a native speaker in an Advanced Conversation course is a travesty. After such courses, there is no way of getting these students to exert temselves in literature courses. Why make the effort when you can blab about the weather for a grade?

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        1. We have proficuency tests, of course. But even a native speaker will probably make a mistake or two in grammar. And to some of my colleagues this means they should be stuck in grammar courses in perpetuity. Profs who are native speakers seem to believe that a person who makes a grammar mistake every now and then has no language competency.

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      7. “If you want to get students to talk why not just make them talk about culture, literature, film, history, etc of the Hispanic world? ”

        You can use culture, literature and history in a language course. In fact an advanced language class gives you more opportunities to pick interesting and diverse materials than a topic course. Back when I was teaching and I got the opportunity to teach an advanced language class I never used any textbooks. All the materials were short stories, newspapers, etc. and those were my favorite classes to teach.

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    1. I recently saw a prof from another department yell at a cowering and terrified student. This is just not cool. I know everybody is stressed out at the end of the semester but it’s wrong to abuse students.

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  4. I’m shortly taking a postdoc position (in physical science) so my list is a little different….

    -Office: Huge southern-facing window that looks onto a green space with lots of trees, on the second floor, a programable thermostat that is specific to my office, a couch, and a giant wall of bookshelves. Big desk and a comfy office chair.

    -A top of the line mac with a giant screen and gobs of memory so I can load my entire dataset into RAM with room to spare, and a very competent technical staff that can help with more advanced computer stuff.

    -Good caffeine in a lounge on my floor; excellent caffeine a five minute walk from my building through the green space so I can have an excuse to stretch my legs and get a change of scenery.

    -An excellent weekly journal club with lots of discussion about my sub-field.

    -Colleagues/friends: At least one close friend who I can do stereotypical feminine things with. One or two people who are as enthusiastic about science outreach as I am (and who are just as organized) to collaborate with on activities at rural middle schools. A good group of regulars that like to go out for beers at least once a week. One or more people I can go to the gym with regularly.

    -Opportunities to teach segments of a class (ie, more than just a one-off substitute lecture) where I can experiment with my teaching style.

    Hm… That’s about all I can think of right now. I’m crossing my fingers I can get at least most of these things at my new job…

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    1. I can see everybody is into caffeine. 🙂 I used to want a window but now I’ve kind of resigned myself to not having it. A friend would be nice, though.

      Good luck with the job search!!

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    1. But surely you would like some caffeine, too?

      Are you getting trained to become a teacher? I said it before but I really think you’d be a great teacher. Are there vacancies in CEGEPs maybe/

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      1. There’s almost no such vacancy in mathematics in CEGEPs (I try more economics now, by I still want mathematics), unless you know someone in the milieu, or unless you want to live in creepy villages even worse than some town in Illinois…

        And since I’m a Ph D., employers saw me as “overqualified” (sic) (the new in vogue slur against non-workers).

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      3. There’s almost no such vacancy in mathematics in CEGEPs (I try more economics now, by I still want mathematics), unless you know someone in the milieu, or unless you want to live in creepy villages even worse than some town in Illinois…

        And since I’m a Ph. D. student, employers see me as “overqualified” (sic) (the new in vogue slur against non-workers).

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        1. “And since I’m a Ph. D. student, employers see me as “overqualified” (sic) (the new in vogue slur against non-workers).”

          – Yes, this is a big problem. Will you look for university positions when you finish the PhD then?

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      4. “Will you look for university positions when you finish the PhD then?”

        Maybe, but I will not be very patient. In economics, the academic market is very bad (unless somewhat in macroeconomics, which I don’t like). Or maybe I could start a online/personal tutoring business with a more credible Ph D., but I have to find an administrative associate.

        I don’t like very much coffee, but here, my Ph. D students colleagues buy their own coffee machine.

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        1. That’s what N says, too. (he is also in statistics). A very very bad market, and the worst part is that when people go into the field nobody tells them how dependent the field is on personal connections and networking.

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        1. Oh God, this is horrible. And this obsession with eliminating literature and substituting it with the meaningless verbiage of ‘communication” makes me want to vomit. WTF is ‘culture and communication”?

          Bleh.

          Also: the CEGEP system works beautifully. Why mess with it? Why fix what is not broken?

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      10. I don’t know, David. In all honesty I learned more about literature at Maisonneuve than at the UdM.

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      11. But I’m not sure than this would not be the case again, unless the anti-knowledge reform gets it’s way to CEGEPs, which would not be surprising. “Transversal competence”, what a crap!

        Teachers should be ready to be fired for knowledge.

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      14. “the worst part is that when people go into the field nobody tells them how dependent the field is on personal connections and networking.”

        You’re right, and I pay the price for it. I would probably be a CEGEP teacher right now if I would have understood that before.

        And the same trend is occuring in econometrics. Academic economists love to autocongratulate themselves about econometrics (which is only statistics in economic contexts), but almost nobody else is interested by this.

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      16. “Are you getting trained to become a teacher?”

        Not specifically (the vast majority of new teachers in CEGEP are not trained for it) but I have a shitload of experience on teaching/TA duties.

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      17. Terminology and cosmetic changes in education speak volumes about ideology. You remember the discussions we had on your blog about Dept. of world languages and cultures vs modern languages and literatures?

        It remains to be seen whether ‘culture and communication’ will maintain the same rigor I saw in many letters or arts&lits programs.

        And yes! Don’t touch CEGEPS! This is one thing that works well in our education system.

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  6. If I could move my actual office to my new workplace I would be the happiest worker on earth. As I am writing this post in my office, in the very last hours I will spend here, I realize how much I will miss my bookshelves, the space, and the view. Oh! My office!

    Seriously, I ask for: an office with a window, a nice coffee machine, colleagues to talk to and perhaps be friends with, places to have dinner/drink in the town without jumping into colleagues and students all the time, civility among faculty, having enough money to invite one or two guest speakers every year, internet connection and projector in my classrooms.

    I cam deal with 100 students in one language class as long as I have one or two excellent TAs.

    Am I asking too much?

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    1. “As I am writing this post in my office, in the very last hours I will spend here, I realize how much I will miss my bookshelves, the space, and the view. Oh! My office!”

      – I know this is a difficult moment! Stay strong, my friend! I felt the same way when I left my previous office but now I love my new one even more.

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      1. I will survive! I forgot to mention that right next to muy office is the busiest restroom on campus. That I will not miss.

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  7. “Conversation” and “Grammar” courses are ridiculous at any level because they imply that these items are absent from regular language classes, which just means these classes are not done well. They are also based on a completely outdated model of separating out linguistic elements and skills that is generally not viable in actual life. It is absolutely mystifying to me why you are opposed to genre-based curriculums and the like, since these would essentially provide you with research-based reasons to oppose the types of classes you dislike, and in addition allow the lower level “language” classes to better prepare students for your literature (and other higher level) classes.

    My working conditions are pretty ideal, but they would be improved if our language classes were six credits instead of three.

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    1. ““Conversation” and “Grammar” courses are ridiculous at any level because they imply that these items are absent from regular language classes, which just means these classes are not done well.”

      – Exactly!

      “They are also based on a completely outdated model of separating out linguistic elements and skills that is generally not viable in actual life.”

      – Exactly!!

      ” It is absolutely mystifying to me why you are opposed to genre-based curriculums and the like, since these would essentially provide you with research-based reasons to oppose the types of classes you dislike, and in addition allow the lower level “language” classes to better prepare students for your literature (and other higher level) classes.”

      – I feel like Monsieeu Jourdain. 🙂 What is it that I oppose without knowing I oppose it?

      “My working conditions are pretty ideal, but they would be improved if our language classes were six credits instead of three.”

      – Our language courses are 4 credits because they have 1 lab hour per week.

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      1. “since these would essentially provide you with research-based reasons to oppose the types of classes you dislike”

        – I could have the best reasons in the universe but ultimately this will be decided by who has the most iron will at the department. And right now, that person is not me. 🙂 🙂

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      2. Well, we’ve already gotten into an argument about this at least once on your blog, but since my grades are turned in, here goes again 🙂

        Basically, the idea behind a genre-based curriculum is that the model of 2-3 years of “language” classes taught according to a communicative teaching model, followed by 1-2 years of “content” classes (including, but not limited to literature classes) results in a bifurcated system where students are often unable to make this jump (and in your case, run to the advanced grammar class). To fix this split, there needs to be more “content” (for example, literature) in the lower level classes as well as actual analysis of this content (for example literary analysis of a very basic level). This is not to be confused with reading a short story in an elementary level class to summarize the plot and learn a few vocabulary words. Genres (in a very broad sense, more in the sense of Bakhtin than literary genres) are a way to organize this, and to connect the use of language elements to the meaning they have as part of that genre, situated in a larger cultural context. This also resists the idea of communicative language teaching being all about “speaking” which is erroneous, but a common mistake. Then in the upper level classes, there is still a focus on language (not the assumption that students should have already learnt it) in addition to the focus of the class. One reason why this is particularly important in your case is that the grammar mistakes made by native speakers are often not a case of learning particular rules, but of learning how to use complicated grammar in context-specific cases. There are many other benefits as well (in my opinion) such as more nuanced and useful understandings of culture, and the ability to address this in lower level classes.

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        1. Ah, I remember now! I’m having extensive dental work done and since I can’t use pain-killers, I get loopy. Sorry!

          As I said before, we have a situation at my specific department where it is hard enough to defend any course at all from the “grammar obsession.” It’s a battle I’m not winning at this point.

          At other universities this will be impossible because nobody wants to allocate the funds to fire all the adjuncts and lecturers and hire TT people instead. Right now, language courses are mostly taught pretty much everywhere by people who are native speakers and have no other qualifications whatsoever. Talking to them about Bakhtin and expecting them to do literary analysis quite useless. 🙂 We still haven’t been able to explain why it’s best to avoid conducting the entire Intermediate level Spanish class in English. Ideally, yes, the field would get rid of all instructors (although how they will make a living is a big question) and hire TT profs. But this is obviously not happening.

          Since we are talking about ideal work conditions, though, we can fantasize.

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      3. Given the current job market, I know plenty of lecturers who can discuss Bakhtin (they just haven’t found a TT job yet) 🙂 In general I agree, but I also think that there are many TT faculty (not you) who help create this problem by considering language classes not intellectually rigorous, “beneath them” or something anyone can teach with very little experience. I suppose while we’re on ideal working conditions, I’d add recognizing the value, challenge and potential of elementary and intermediate language classes.

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  8. I like Mayhew’s but they are utterly utopian. My realistic list would be the same as yours, adding:

    * building climate control available 24/7
    * library funding
    * funding for travel to conferences
    * cost of living and merit increases to salary
    * better places for lunch
    * a faculty club
    * some other things like this, i.e. all the things real campuses have…

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    1. Yes, I just remembered! I’d like to be able to turn off the lights in my office because the waste of the lights being on for the months I’m not even there is bothering me!

      A faculty club. . . An impossible dream.

      I hear from people that some even have such an impossible thing as “book money.” I have to pay to get books shipped from Spain, so I’d like book money. But it’s not realistic.

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      1. Book money is the sort of thing one can get with outside research support. Are there foundations, publishers, foreign governments wanting to highlight their native born authors, etc., that support literary research?

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        1. Spain has now suspended all of its literary research grants because of the crisis. I know I need to look into how external funding works for my discipline but always get too confused by it.

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  9. Getting here late, but Mayhew’s list is utterly loathesome to me since I enjoy meeting new students, detest the kind of inbred atmosphere of a small group of students and their guru (since I had been part of that once with bad results) and think the entire academic publishing industry is incredibily fraudulent and mostly useless.

    My first condition of an ideal workplace – loud! My favorite studying place ever was a bowling alley (I concentrate better when I have to concentrate past some immediate distraction).

    Oh and caffeine, lots and lots of blessed caffeine.

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  10. Stop being cheap. Surely you and your colleagues can chip in and buy a coffee pot and the coffee to go with it. You don’t need to have a fancy espresso bar, a hot plate and one of those Bialetti hexagonal aluminum pots will do the trick.

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