Passive Women

The spirited discussion in the dating thread reminded me of the following true story.

Once my colleagues and I ordered some pizza, had some drinks, and were talking about life. Then a male colleague from Peru decided to share his bit of sexual wisdom.

“You have to recognize,” he said, “that women are passive both in sex and in life. So how can you expect any equality in terms of rights? In bed, for instance, women just lie there, they rarely even move at all.”

We all laughed so hard that the walls shook.

At the end of the collective laughing bout, the Peruvian colleague asked in a small, hopeful voice, “So. . . are you saying there are women who are not like that?”

We had to reassure him that there are a few women here and there who have been known to move and even make sounds in bed.

The really sad part was that the Peruvian colleague was 43 years old at that time and had an adult son.

For at least a year after that, people greeted this poor guy with an invariable, “So has she moved yet? Make sure she is still alive there, man!”

10 thoughts on “Passive Women

  1. “‘You have to recognize,’ he said, ‘that women are passive both in sex and in life. So how can you expect any equality in terms of rights? In bed, for instance, women just lie there, they rarely even move at all.'”

    *cringe*

    Why would anyone say that, particularly with women present?

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    1. Oh, my dear friend. I’m in Hispanic Studies. This is one of the nicer, kinder things I have heard from my male colleagues. The kind of shit one gets to hear as a woman in my field is very harsh.

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      1. One of the favorite tricks of my male colleagues is to engage in very detailed and graphic discussions of rape whenever a female colleague is present. They especially like to do it when there is one female colleague among a group of male colleagues.

        Another strategy they love is what I call “genital textual analysis.” They take an article by a female colleague and make a detailed analysis of which male scholars supposedly wrote it for her in exchange for sex services.

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      1. Sometimes I wonder if there’s a competition between who those who are supposed keep a stiff upper lip and who are supposed to just lie back and keep thinking of England. Of course, it doesn’t mean that people don’t switch and try to do both at the same time.

        Filming this for a rom-com would be easy since everyone knows that blankets never fall off during sex.*

        *Never true.

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  2. This reminds me of a woman I dated for a while in the 1980’s. She said that she had a French lover before me who told her: “Be still and be quiet!” I am making love to you. You are not making love to me. [Emphasis hers, as well as I can remember it.]

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