At the baby shower, a friend discovered I was going to have an elective C-section. This is a very excitable and highly principled friend (she wouldn’t be my friend otherwise, for obvious reasons), so she stopped in the middle of the room and offered an impassionate speech about the evils of elective C-sections and joys of “natural” birth.
“Feminism. . . Medicalization of the female body. . . An important experience to have. . . Pain is a part of life and should not be avoided. . . Back in the nineteenth century. . .”
A woman with a very tiny infant in her arms stopped behind my friend and was listening intently. When she paused to draw a breath, the woman with an infant exclaimed, “Vaginal birth is horrible, horrible! It’s terribly painful! It sucks! Don’t do it!”
There was so much real pain in her voice that nobody felt like continuing the debate.
“You are a feminist, how can you choose a C-section?” my friend asked me later.
“It’s because I’m a feminist,” I explained.
My friend is a California feminist and I’m a post-Soviet one, so there are areas in which we are the exact opposites.
Clarissa's Blog 
What happens if you elect to have the baby on a certain date and then it comes early? Mine were both 2.5weeks early. The second one was practically out by the time I got to the hospital.
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I’m very much afraid of going into premature labor while I sit here all alone. However, it’s not that big of a deal because for the very first birth to happen, one needs many hours. I’m sure I’ll have time to get to the hospital.
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You get the premature c-section early, unless the baby is already out of the uterus. ‘s how I was born.
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All I want is to get him out of there and not get any vaginal tearing. I have a terror of vaginal tearing.
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Is your insurance paying for the elective C-section? How did you find out if they are paying? Did you call them and ask?
Sorry to seem intrusive, but I am asking you this because I am considering an elective C-section too, and I have been actively discouraged by whoever I speak to. I also have a semi-medical reason for one — I have an uterine fibroid close to the birth canal that can lead to complications and increased bleeding during labor. My doctor says that it is not close enough for her to schedule a C-section, and she will do one only if complications actually happen during labor. I feel like I would have more peace of mind if she scheduled one right away.
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“Is your insurance paying for the elective C-section? How did you find out if they are paying? Did you call them and ask?”
– Yes, they are. I asked. Nobody has any problem with this decision, for which I’m very grateful.
“My doctor says that it is not close enough for her to schedule a C-section, and she will do one only if complications actually happen during labor. I feel like I would have more peace of mind if she scheduled one right away.”
– I’m very sorry to hear this! Do you happen to live in Canada? I hear that Canadian doctors tend to be very intransigent about this. It’s very sad when doctors use female bodies as a place to enact their ideologies. 😦 I wish you a safe a happy birth!!!
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Thanks, thanks, that is good to know! I’ll call my insurance and ask. This has been a huge source of stress for me, and it’ll be good to get it resolved.
I am in California, actually. Vaginal birth is very big where I am, although I was told the hospital and the ob-gyns that I am seeing are usually quite reasonable. But we’ll see.
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Oh, California! This is where my pro-everything-natural friend is from. 🙂 This is a very very dear friend, but the California influence can be felt at times. 🙂
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I support C-section, If you don’t want C-section, don’t be pregnant!
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That’s a bit extreme. I think a woman should have a vaginal birth if she wants one and there aren’t any complications.
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People should give birth in any way they prefer. If they want to do it while hanging from a chandelier, I say, more power to them.
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Of course, but they should stop telling you about “you should have vaginal birth”.
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Yes, I know! The funny thing is that I never in my life said anything critical to anybody about their birth choices. All I ever do is mention (in response to questions) that I chose elective C-section. Why people feel the need to try to convince me of something is a mystery. I, for one, have no need to criticize anybody’s choices.
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After 3 kids, I consider labor and delivery just something to go through. It’s a necessary process that should lead to a healthy baby and healthy mom. I don’t give a rat’s ass how someone delivers, as long as they are not needlessly and stupidly endangering self or the baby (e.g. the militant homebirthers’ movement). I see nothing wrong with an elective C-section.
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At this point, the c-section ceased being elective for me which I knew would happen.
I haven’t given birth to anybody yet, but I feel exactly like you do. As long as he gets born and is healthy, that’s all I wish for.
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I am sorry, I must have missed a lot of the pregnancy updates — are you having a medical issue that will necessitate a C-section?
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Yes, I now have several medical issues. 🙂 It’s OK, I’m sure everything will be fine.
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