This article is from last year but I only just discovered it. I’m very happy to see that the enlightened ideas about shared custody being the best decision for children of divorced parents have reached this country:
There is an emergent consensus within the divorce research community that in the great majority of contested cases of child custody, where family violence is not a factor, children’s needs and interests are best served by preserving meaningful relationships with both of their parents. Children need and want both parents in their lives, beyond the constraints of “visitation” relationships and “primary caregiver” arrangements. Shared parenting is a viable and desirable alternative in this regard, and “in the best interests of the child from the perspective of the child.”
This is a feminist issue that deserves support and effort. Sadly, the inane “Society expects me to wear lipstick and I don’t wanna” or “Somebody said “hi” to me, I’m so oppressed” discussions on feminist blogs rage for weeks. In the meanwhile, nobody ever mentions this hugely important area where feminist activism is needed.
I maintain that there will be no true victory for feminism until shared custody is the solution adopted in at least 90% of all cases of divorce. There is precedent of this kind of policy being implemented in Spain, and social collapse has not happened, in case you are wondering. I also know people who are raising their daughter in a shared custody arrangement that they chose of their own free will, and this is a very happy, well-adjusted child who obviously thrives as a result of being brought up by Mommy and Daddy who just happen to live in different houses.
Clarissa's Blog 
Personally, I think “The politics of hello” were one of the funniest articles (and comments) I have seen in that year. As for the shared custody: yes, I think it’s the best idea, assuming that both parents can act like adults and be civil.
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“Personally, I think “The politics of hello” were one of the funniest articles (and comments) I have seen in that year.”
– Yes, it was special. 🙂 It is amazing how people manage not to notice when they sound completely ridiculous.
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It’s when they reach a navel gazing level comparable to 1 l of vodka per capita in an hour.
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Thank you for referencing “the politics of hello” which I was somehow unaware of. It reads like a brilliant parody of what feminism would be like if it were taken over by a bunch of intellectually bankrupt, vapid narcissists…. oh.
Or perhaps its subversive? This Autumn Whitfield-Madrano (that cannot be a real name) is presenting herself as far too insular and delicate to actually do something like hold down a job (or be entrusted with the care of children she’s liable to neglect while hypnotized by her own reflection.
She’s the kind of person who would greatly benefit from a year or two in Central or Eastern Europe, a place which works wonders in toughening up wimpy north americans, it’s like a 24/7 intensive course in learning to be assertive.
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It seems to have to do with the way feminism has gradually become femininity. And femininity means the role of women in maintaining not just propriety but the appearance of properly balancing one’s obligations. How does one address the lady in the street and how is it proper for her to respond?
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We discussed the victimizing hello on this blog, too. That was fun.
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I maintain that there will be no true victory for feminism until shared custody is the solution adopted in at least 90% of all cases of divorce(Clarissa)
Considering feminism is not a monolith you might be disappointed to find out that many self proclaimed “feminists” might not share your viewpoint.
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People are entitled to be as stupid and limited as they wish, I guess. All I can do is try to enlighten.
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The idea that there are “feminists” at all is a conspiracy. There are no feminists. Look around you. All I see are impulses.
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Well, with that said. I certainly see your impulses.
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yes, impulses are everywhere….nothing else to see here.
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Its just a bummer when you have the same moniker as the dummies. 😉
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As a famous poet wrote, “at times, I tire of being human.” 🙂
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Very good……………Im just waiting for you to put it to sleep. 🙂
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What, humanity? 🙂 The problem is, there are no real alternatives to it.
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Aternatives, of course, get rid of humanity and let the feminists take over. We’ll all be better for it. 😉
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Feminists from other planets, you mean? Interesting suggestion. . . 🙂
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Shared custody is the norm in France I believe. Unless one parent is a serial killer, it’s the only reasonable solution in a divorce. Kids shouldn’t lose a parent just because their parents split up. Mine live with me but visit their dad (who lives several hours by train away) on a regular basis.
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I think a better measure of true equality would be fewer cases going to court (because both parties recognise their ex spouse’s ability to care for their children adequately), and in the majority of divorces that don’t go to court, that people themselves organise evenly shared custody because they feel like that is the right thing to do. As to 50/50 custody (which term is not used in the courts here) I prefer the approach which has been current in the uk family courts since 1996, where the court must look to the best solution for the child and where appropriate and possible consider the child’s wishes. The parents wishes don’t come into it, except where they impact upon the child’s wellbeing. This means that there is no presumption of 50/50, a situation that upsets F4J et al, but there is a general expectation that if contact, or shared residence is in the child’s best interests, the court will so order. I think this is the better way round because, practically speaking, the majority of cases that come before the court to decide childcare arrangements (as opposed to pure finance) are so poisonous that one or both of the parents are incapable of making arrangements in their child’s best interests.
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“I think a better measure of true equality would be fewer cases going to court (because both parties recognise their ex spouse’s ability to care for their children adequately), and in the majority of divorces that don’t go to court, that people themselves organise evenly shared custody because they feel like that is the right thing to do.”
– Of course, this is the perfect scenario.
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