Talks With a Relative

Published by

Clarissa

August 8, 2013

From a dialogue with my relative in Ukraine who has never had anything resembling a romantic relationship with anybody in all the 60 years of her life and as a result feels compelled to teach everybody how to attract men:

Relative: Women should be modest and submissive to men because this is an eternal truth taught in the Bible. If you don’t agree, that is only because you are possessed by Satan. But I’m sure that 20 years from now you will agree with me.

Me: Don’t worry, I will never become a religious fanatic. My personal life is too happy and fulfilling for that.

Yes, that was a nasty thing to say, but if there is anything likely to aggravate me is the fake religiousness of a Soviet person.

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6 responses to “Talks With a Relative”

musteryou

August 8, 2013

I think being modest and submissive might attract a sadist or a would-be dominator, but there is no reason why a healthy human being would be attracted to this.

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1. bloggerclarissa
  
  August 8, 2013
  
  The experience of my relative who has not attracted anybody in 60 years with her submissive modesty confirms that you are right. 🙂
  
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  1. musteryou
    
    August 8, 2013
    
    Oh well she should keep trying. It may help her to grit her teeth.
    
    In the mean time, I am doing more research on biologism and the contemporary ideological orthodoxy. You know, with regard to gender, I really feel like I have decisively won MY battle, at least on the psychological level. I can listen to all the nonsense people spout and understanding that it is rationalization for not having to think or change too much. Both feminists and the “MRAs” are stuck in the ruts of their respective rationalizations to a very high degree.
    
    Falling back on biologism as their pseudo-science of choice, they fail to see that progress is still possible and necessary. I find it very funny that a rather ugly guy appears on an Amazon video to express the view that if only men had higher status, they would be able to attract a woman as a mate. He can keep on trying, as people like this will not listen to my arguments. If life will not be the educator in this case, then there will be no educators at all.
    
    On the other side, there are women whining about the mental illnesses and how this makes them “feel vulnerable all the time”. They have the right to assert their right not to be objects of aggression, but at the same time, I think they ought to feel a bit of shame at making the assertion that there is something fundamentally wrong with them. Shame is a basic source of change, but it is obvious that even contemplating the possibility of change is considered even more shameful or unacceptable — the most likely reason for this is the ideology of biologism. People want to believe they are what they are and that is all there is to it.
    
    What it all means is that people will continue to spin their wheels until they get out of their rut of acquiescence to biologist explanations, and start to use critical thinking and find the courage to understand that they must be what they have not been before.
    
    Overall, I’m inclined to dismiss the present gender debates as so much middlebrow nonsense. I can’t address this stuff because most often the ideas of what a human can be are at such a low level of being, that I can’t understand why anyone would aim for that.
    
    I have been reading MRA sites that say women are only interested in reproduction. What does that mean for the men who would associate with them? They are lower than pigs and goats.
    
    But there is some truth to the idea — in the very biologist turn of feminism, which makes it seem like it is a female prerogative to be a neurotic ape and focus primarily on childcare.
    
    And see this:
    
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Shakti

August 8, 2013

Self righteous people are always surprised when you don’t buy into their frame. It shocks them when you throw it right back at them.

OT: I have no idea how credible this is but it certainly sounds frightening: Snowden’s Savior Announces Plan to Build 83 Concentration Camps
–original link via Balloon Juice (apparently the original link is time subscribed?)

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cliff arroyo

August 9, 2013

Possible answers I would give in your position (assuming I were a married adult russophone ukrainian woman) in roughly increasing levels of tact and effectiveness.

“I have a right to my own opinion and I have no intention on letting you lecture me!”

“Let’s play a game! Everyone with a husband raise their hands!”

“Those who can, do. Those who can’t… talk about it a lot.”

“You’re all theory and no practice”

“I’m worried about increased volcanic and seismographic activity in the ring of fire. What’s your take on that?”

“If I say you’re right, will you change the subject?”

“Ha, ha, ha. Have you heard anything about uncle Viktor lately? How’s he doing with that back problem?”

“Oh Aunt Oksana! There’s no one like you!”

“The way people change their opinions as they age is certainly an interesting phenomenon. I’ve heard it said that changing world views are a symptom of mental health. What are some things you’ve changed your mind about?”

“Well you can’t tell which way a train went by looking at the tracks.”

Bonus: There are two pop culture references (one very old) and at least two and a half stereotypical national responses above. Can you find them?

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1. Robin Lionheart
  
  August 18, 2013
  
  “How’s that working out for you?” — Tyler Durden
  
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