There is nothing more ridiculous than identity discourse. Here is a blogger complaining that people “invalidate” her identity, whatever the hell that means, by not guessing that she is Latina. How they are supposed to do that when she chooses to sign her posts as “Frau Sally Benz” is a complete mystery.
I write as “Clarissa” and I now kind of wish I had thought of biting people’s heads off for not guessing that I’m from Ukraine. How dare the world invalidate my Ukrainian identity by assuming that somebody who posts in English is not a Ukrainian!
And how does one invalidate a person’s identity, exactly? Weird people on a blog for depressive academics once started to insist that I couldn’t possibly be a woman. Their insistence in no way “invalidated” my identity, though. I didn’t suddenly become a man just because a bunch of creeps assumed I was.
Clarissa's Blog 
May be you’ll like this Russian blog:
http://e-greenberg.livejournal.com/
LikeLike
About identities, I read from the above-mentioned blog this post (there are many much better ones):
http://e-greenberg.livejournal.com/9350.html#comments
And it made me think. What is femininity for you? Do you see the parts of you labeled “woman” or “feminine”, as refering only to sexual sides of life? I understand that sexuality is inborn, but she doesn’t seem to mean that. May be, you’ll write a post “My feminine journey”? 🙂
The author writes:
“все мы имеем и мужскую и женскую часть, поэтому я не вижу ничего плохого, чтобы иметь оба типа ресурсов в своём арсенале. Однако, надо отдавать себе отчет в том, что это именно мужской тип поведения, называть вещи своими именами.”
Isn’t the bolded part sexist? Aren’t the following “пробивные черты характера, защищают, часто бывают основным добытчиком” what every person, regardless of gender, should attempt to acquire?
“человека по типу женщины” – why is it bad?
She has several good posts, that’s why I paid attention to that one. For example:
Кому не стоит ходить на митинги по псих. причинам
http://e-greenberg.livejournal.com/?skip=60
Что скрывается за желанием помогать.
http://e-greenberg.livejournal.com/24754.html
Only one part of the last post was new to me, but it was surprising:
Как правило, у таких людей у самих очень большая и неудовлетворённая потребность в заботе. Не умея организовать заботу о себе самом – своими силами, или получить её со стороны – они проецируют свою потребность в объекты внешнего мира (кошки, собаки, обездоленные люди) – и заботятся о них. Они бессознательно заботятся о себе самих в лице других. У таких людей нет навыка принимать помощь (это “не удобно”, “стыдно”, “мне всего хватает, что вы”, “ладно я, а вот…”). Предложите такому человеку помощь – и он немедленно откажется от неё. Максимум – примет, чтобы тут же раздать другим. Часто у этих людей не обнаружена, не прожита жалость к себе. Часто в детстве такие люди были очень взрослыми, самостоятельными, решали свои проблемы сами. Дефицит заботы в детстве никуда не ушел – это он толкает спасать “таких же, каким был я”. В ком увидится этот маленький, беззащитный, одинокий и брошенный “я” – у всех по-разному. У кого-то в котёнке, у кого-то в чужих детях, у кого-то в дворовых алкоголиках, у кого-то в инвалиде у метро. “Всех очень жалко”. Ещё раз: речь о ситуациях, когда помощь другим очевидно отнимает ресурсы самого человека. Лишает его собственной жизни, крадёт его у близких. Или лишает душевного равновесия, что называется, человека “выносит” почти каждый день от вида кого-то страждущего, его захлёстывают эмоции настолько, что он не может как-то с этим справиться – продолжить работу, переключиться на свои дела.
LikeLike
I still think my analysis of the Savior mentality is better: “I enjoyed the feeling of being a strong, benevolent person who can dispense kindness to weak, pathetic people around her. It allowed me to maintain this image of myself as somebody superior to the lost, confused and problem-ridden others. It also permitted me to avoid facing my own problems. Endless discussions of other people’s issues helped me entertain the illusion that the troubles of my own life were not all that significant, so there was no need (and no time, of course) to try to deal with them.
Having based my identity on helping others, I was free from the need to create an identity that existed independently of how troubled people around me were.”
LikeLike
As for the sexist post, what I find really curious is this: “Эти приписываемые качества – мягкость, нежность, дипломатичность, любовь к детям, заботливость, умение быть аккуратной, следить за собой, быть поддерживающей, осознающей свою ценность и внутреннюю силу без потребности к активной её демонстрации, принимающей и жизнелюбивой.” This is the image of the perfect man that women invariably want and are looking for. Every man who is very successful romantically and sexually that I have ever seen is like this. Every sad and lonely guy is the opposite. And the really curious thing is that women who have all these qualities tend to be very lonely. I was planning to blog about this but I can see people are getting ahead of me. 🙂
LikeLike
I left a comment and it’s awaiting moderation.
LikeLike
I have no idea WTF she was going on about, if she wants people to think she is Latina she should have used a different name. My username Ladyfiaran is from a fantasy story I wrote years ago and I chose it because it has nothing to do with my real name, I don’t want people looking me up online. With a name like hers, people would of course assume she is German unless she specifically says so.
LikeLike
I don’t know why she complains about that. I really love this about the Internet: it does not matter what nationality you are, or what your sex is, whether you are tall or short, fat or slim.
I am just a wall of text, the only things that matter are my arguments, my thoughts, my input.
LikeLike
“How they are supposed to do that when she chooses to sign her posts as “Frau Sally Benz” is a complete mystery”
Of the Latinos I’ve known, the ones I liked best and enjoyed spending time with the most are the most unabashedly native american (indigena/autoctono)
The oblivious or indifferent to ethnic background are next.
Self-loathing native americans who hang onto any real or imagined connection to european background with the tenacity of a bulldog suffering from lockjaw are either irritating or sad. Occasionally funny when i’m feeling mean spirited enough.
The one’s I’ve liked the least (and whose company I resolutely avoided) are the ones who simultaneously make a big deal about being “European” (the more Germanic the better)
The sub-set of this group that instantly become the non-white ‘other’ sighing about oppression they suffer at your hands are slightly more bearable if nothing else for the amusement factor (there are certain kinds of hypocrisy that I find to be hilarious).
LikeLike
In unrelated but important Spanish food news, I have a new dish entering the select group of Spanish food I really like.
http://es.wikipedia.org/wiki/Papas_arrugadas
for the Spanish impaired: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Canarian_wrinkly_potatoes
The potatoes by themselves aren’t bad (not as salty as you might imagine) but they combine with the mojo (I prefer red) in a totally inexplicable way that I found completely addictive (the same way I became addicted to fresh chilled horchata my first time in Spain). I’m going to have to learn how to make mojo now…
LikeLike
This sounds like a very interesting dish! I love tiny new potatoes and can eat them all the time. Maybe I need to try this!
I’m glad you are having fun in Spain. 🙂
LikeLike
Oh, I’m done having fun now. I’m trying to get back into the swing of bureaucratic paper pushing and trying to figure out how to rework a curriculum that works without the extra teacherpower I’ve gotten used to (for the last few years I’ve had the wonderful luxury of a visiting teaching assistant and that’s not happening this year).
LikeLike