Game: How Americanized Am I?

~ Clarissa

OK, folks, I have come up with a beautiful game for us to play. The name of the game is “How Americanized am I?”

The rules are as follows: you are to come up with questions  to test my understanding of American history, idioms, geography, culture, literature, daily life, food, fashion, TV – anything. And I absolutely promise not to Google or do any searches and just answer off the top of my head. I don’t mind feeling ridiculous or ignorant for a change, so I won’t cheat.

Questions can be serious or humorous but they have to be of the kind that anybody who you consider part of this culture to be able to answer.

If I answer more than 60% of the questions (which is the passing grade at my university), I win. If not, you win, and you can come up with a collective decision of what I should do to expiate my lack of Americanization.

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Published by Clarissa

132 thoughts on “Game: How Americanized Am I?”

  3. I’ll stick with pop culture ephemera (of the kind that tends to get stuck in people’s brains whether they want it there or not). I’ll give you three chances before declaring you wrong.

    First.
    Name the person who said: “Marcia, Marcia, Marcia!”

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    1. OK, it’s definitely a TV show, and it’s definitely from before my time. I say, from the 60s? I know I heard it on a TV show about older TV shows.

      I don’t remember the name if the show but I remember the quote. The show was about a suburban family? And there were many kids? Is it the Partridge Family?

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        1. The only other show like that I heard of is The Brady Bunch. Is that it?

          I don’t think I know any other shows of the same kind so if it isn’t that one, I’m out!

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  4. Let’s conflate three of your blogs in one shall we? Re the Civl War..(a funny and rather sad but oh-so predictable story…) FGL is one obvious link, yes. And especially his love of Gongora whose rivalry with Quevedo was a relatively civil war – though not always.

    How are you doing with your Americanisation? Wonderfully, I would say. Your determination to find new ways of blending unusual ingredients is very New World, while your determination to show your acceptance of the MSM’s presentation of current eastern european events is entirely in keeping with the north american immigrants need to prove assimilation – if only to themselves.

    (Whether your early upbringing will in the fullness of time allow your innermost sensibilities gravitate towards full american continental orientation still remains to be seen.This is harder than it seems for a european.)

    Finally, to complete the circle, perhaps after all you do have what it takes to make a full shift westwards – reminiscent of Unomuno’s character in La Vendad – preferring to put the blindfold back on in order to find your way confidently around the world…

    But hey, what does an intellectually-challenged weirdo know?

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    1. Ok, let’s not take this post so seriously. It’s just a joke. And it’s funny precisely because I will never be even a bit Americanized nor do I want to. Why do you think so many people read my blog? Because I’m different, and my perspective is unique.

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      1. The answer is that he claimed Jesus told him to turn Randall Terry gay, so he glitterbombed him.

        EVERY American teenager I knew wouldn’t shut up about him for a solid week.

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    1. Arizona! Or was it New Mexico?

      You guys are tough. How many Americans know the dates of which state joined the union? Is this a test for average Americanness of frou-frou Americanness? 🙂 🙂 🙂

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      1. No, it was Libya or as it was known then Tripoli. They fought against the Barbary Pirates. It is in the Marine anthem, “From the Halls of Montezuma to the Shores of Tripoli.”

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  10. OK, I think these are supposed to be questions a typical American could answer?
    1. Who won the World Series last year?
    2. What is a Hail Mary pass?
    3. Which president said “I am not a crook.”
    4. Name one song by each of the following: Elvis Presley, Willie Nelson, Eminem and Lady Gaga.
    5. What was the Underground Railway?

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    1. “1. Who won the World Series last year?”

      – The Cards! Or was that the year before last? And thank goodness you didn’t ask me what sport this is because I’m still not sure.

      “2. What is a Hail Mary pass?”

      – Like a hall pass at school? Or like when you don’t have a hall pass and pray you won’t be caught?

      “3. Which president said “I am not a crook.”

      – Of course, this is Nixon.

      “4. Name one song by each of the following: Elvis Presley, Willie Nelson, Eminem and Lady Gaga.”

      – Elvis “Love Me Tender”, Eminem “White America”, Lady Gaga “Bad Romance” and who the hell is Willie Nelson.

      “5. What was the Underground Railway?”

      – It’s a secret route escaped slaves used to leave slave states and move North, for instance, to Canada. Stations on the railway were homes of freed slaves and abolitionists who helped the slaves escape.

      I’m liking this contest!!!

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  11. F*ck, I don’t know any of this, except the Marcia^3 thing, and only because someone left a blog comment at my place about it.

    How about this: who won the last Superbowl? Or better yet, who performed during half-time during the last Superbowl?

    How many congressmen are there in the US Congress? How many US senators?
    (You will need this for your citizenship exam anyway, if you aren’t a citizen already.)

    What day of the week are federal elections always held?

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    1. The federal elections are on Tuesdays?

      And I don’t know the number of senators or congressmen, so I won’t even try.

      As for the Superbowl, in conjunction with twicerandomly’s question, it really confused me. Is baseball the World Series and football the Superbowl? Or is it vice versa?

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      1. Correct on the election day! I just read about it, it’s a remnant of the farmers-in-buggies days, when they didn’t want to travel on Sunday (church day) so Monday was out, and Wednesday was typically market day.

        Is baseball the World Series and football the Superbowl?

        🙂 Yes! Superbowl (actually it might be Super Bowl) is also a time when the best new commercials are aired, and it’s a big honor and a big deal to be the entertainer who does the halftime show.

        I don’t like baseball at all, it seems painfully slow and dull on TV (apologies to fans), maybe it’s better when you go to a game; however, I do get the appeal of football and sort of follow it, definitely the Superbowl. Last Superbowl went to Seattle Seahawks, and Bruno Mars plus red Hot Chilli Peppers did the halftime show. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IuhLgSQo2sk

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        1. “Correct on the election day! I just read about it, it’s a remnant of the farmers-in-buggies days, when they didn’t want to travel on Sunday (church day) so Monday was out, and Wednesday was typically market day.”

          – I know that because I remember Googling it to find out when I initially wondered why such an inconvenient day was chosen. 🙂

          “Last Superbowl went to Seattle Seahawks, and Bruno Mars plus red Hot Chilli Peppers did the halftime show.”

          – It’s like this is written in Chinese. Hey, you are a lot more Americanized than I am. 🙂

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      2. Btw, 100 US senators (2 per state). 435 congressmen (it has to do with the number of congressional districts, which has to do with the state population).

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      1. No Fanon was from Martinique which is a French possession in the West Indies. WEB DuBois spent the last few years of his life here. Maya Angelou taught here from 1961-1966. Richard Wright was here when it was still the Gold Coast.

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  13. You did better than I thought you would in the music category!
    The World Series is baseball. The Cards won in 2011, and although they were in the 2013 series, they lost to the Red Sox.
    Football has the Superbowl. A Hail Mary pass is a football play, where the game is almost over and the losing team makes a long pass with really almost no hope.
    Here are a few more:
    What was Darth Vader’s real identity?
    What was the Trail of Tears?
    Which president was also a peanut farmer?
    Who was Fred Astaire’s most famous dancing partner?

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    1. Twicerandomy: I like your questions. Even the ones I didn’t get. 🙂 And of course I know Eminem, I’m a huge fan!

      “What was Darth Vader’s real identity?”

      – he was Luke Skywalker’s father! Even though I never managed to sit through the entire movie.

      “What was the Trail of Tears?”

      – It’s a genocide of the indigenous people of the US. They were relocated by force and many died. A horrible tragedy.

      “Which president was also a peanut farmer?”

      – No idea.

      “Who was Fred Astaire’s most famous dancing partner?”

      – Ginger Rogers, of course!!!

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  14. Name the four characters on Seinfeld.

    Who is Vanna White?

    Name two kinds of Girl Scout cookies.

    What is a swing state?

    Name the daughters of the 3 most recent presidents- Obama, Bush, and Clinton.

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    2. I am SO BAD with names!!!

      “Name the four characters on Seinfeld.”

      – Love the show, but the names!!! Ok, Jerry Seinfeld, George, Noooooman, and Kramer. And I can’t remember the female character for the life of me.

      “Who is Vanna White?”

      – Absolutely no idea.

      “Name two kinds of Girl Scout cookies.”

      – I don’t udnerstand the question at all. There are kinds of cookies? Like peanut butter and chocolate chip, or something?

      “What is a swing state?”

      – It’s state that doesn’t vote consistently for one party pr the other. It’s persuadable. 🙂

      “Name the daughters of the 3 most recent presidents- Obama, Bush, and Clinton.”

      – Again with the names? 🙂 Chelsea I know. Sasha and Malika? But I have no idea about Bush’s daughters.

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      1. Jerry Seinfeld, George Costanza, Cosmo Kramer, Elaine Benes- good for you for knowing Newman 🙂

        Vanna White is the woman on Wheel of Fortune who taps the tiles to reveal the letters. She’s been doing it for decades. Three-plus decades of smiling, looking pretty, and clapping- I’m sure you approve 🙂

        Yes, the Girl Scout cookies have names, and though they change flavors all the time, some are classics that everyone loves. I’d say the most famous are Thin Mints, followed by Samoas and Tagalongs.

        Sasha and Malia; Jenna and Barbara; Chelsea

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        1. “Jerry Seinfeld, George Costanza, Cosmo Kramer, Elaine Benes- good for you for knowing Newman ”

          – I LOVED how Jerry pronounced Noooooman with this extreme disgust on his face. That’s something I do, too. 🙂 🙂 Not to Newman, I mean, but to people I dislike.

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        2. “Vanna White is the woman on Wheel of Fortune who taps the tiles to reveal the letters. She’s been doing it for decades. Three-plus decades of smiling, looking pretty, and clapping- I’m sure you approve”

          – Yes, she”s such a role model to me, how could I ever forget. 🙂 🙂 I’ve seen the show but names are just not my thing. Plus her first name is just like the name of the famous Estonian alcoholic beverage, so I get derailed by that. 🙂

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      1. LBJ doesn’t count because he was the elected vice president when JFK was killed.

        I mean the only president and vice president neither of whom participated in the previous presidential election (the final one in November).

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    1. No, I don’t know this at all. never heard of it. So I’m out. By the way, which American TV show made the phrase “I’m out” its most famous phrase? 🙂 🙂

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    2. Lots of these questions are hard! Mine isn’t so much as knowledge based as it is experiential. Which of the following beers have you had? (And it has to be the entire beer…or close to the entire beer…A sip doesn’t count) Add up your points and see where you land. You need a minimum of 2 points to be a “real American.” (Side note: I have four points.)

      1) Miller (1 point)
      2) Budweiser (1 point)
      3) Pabst Blue Ribbon (1 point)
      4) Coors ( half a point.)
      5) Corona (half a point)

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      1. 5 for me (millers has a great label but always gave me a headache).

        When I was going to punk shows, I’d take either black label or generic, partly for the price, partly for the look (not for the taste).

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      2. “1) Miller (1 point)
        2) Budweiser (1 point)
        3) Pabst Blue Ribbon (1 point)
        4) Coors ( half a point.)
        5) Corona (half a point)”

        – Now this is a good easy question that requires no thinking. I’m reconsidering my opposition to multiple choice! I’ve had Budweiser, Coors and Corona. Why doesn’t Sam Adams count?

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      3. You have two points!! Congrats you are American. 🙂 🙂 Sam Adams doesn’t count in my mind because it’s a “fancy” beer. So it has some middle/upper class cache as a micro brew (even though it’s not a micro brew.)

        In a similar way, I think eating Kraft singles qualifies as more (stereo)typically American than does eating Humbolt Fog (a really lovely artisan cheese from California.) But if you have eaten both Kraft singles and Humbolt Fog, you can give yourself 1.5 more points. 😉 😉 😉

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        1. I’m not a cheese person, I’m a processed cheese person. So of course I had a Kraft singles phase but I never even heard of the other one. 🙂

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  18. What sub set of Americans are stereotypically associated with malt liquor?

    (when I worked at a convenience store for a few months that stereotype was very accurate).

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    1. The Irish?

      In the spirit of full disclosure, I’m not sure what malt liquor is. And I’m honest so I’m not Googling.

      This is such a great thread!!! I’m brilliant at coming up with these.

      But not to worry, I will next post a contest where I will ask questions and will make everybody pay for my suffering!!! 🙂 🙂

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      1. No. Not the Irish.

        Malt liquor is a kind of beer that’s stronger than your standard budweiser and often sold in large bottles

        hint: this group is also associated with menthol cigarettes (again my retail experience completely backs this stereotype up).

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        1. I thought malt liquor was whiskey, like in single malt.

          But for menthol cigarettes (brrrrr, the worst invention of humanity, disgusting! Like sucking ona tube of toothpaste), then I have to say Jews. Every Jewish smoker I know only smokes this garbage.

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      2. Not the jews (I hadn’t realized they’re into menthol cigarettes too).

        one more hint: this group also really likes hot sauce (and they’re not latin american)

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        1. I told 2 students who interviewed me last week that Ukrainians love watermelon. And we eat it with bread. And then to mess with them, I said we also loved fried chicken (which is a lie). They had such confused, bewildered faces that it was priceless.

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        1. “I like to sprinkle salt and pepper on watermelon (common enough where I’m from). It freaks out pretty much every European that’s seen me do it.”

          – Seriously??? Where are you from? Northern Florida?

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      5. Ghanaians do in fact love both fried chicken and watermelon. A very typical Ghanaian meal is fried chicken with cole slaw and fried rice followed by watermelon for desert.

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    2. “Bond, Julian Bond … Schlitz Malt Liquor, shaken, not stirred!”

      Saw this comedy bit while in a hotel during travels in the US — still makes me laugh to this day … 🙂

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  20. In parts of rural America, the jeans of many men have a white circle on one of the back pockets (I think left is more common but it can be either side). It’s caused by something they keep in that pocket. What is it?

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    2. A silver dollar? 🙂 I’m totally guessing here.

      Cliff, your questions are the hardest. As I said before, you are hardcore American and too hardcore for most Americans. 🙂 🙂

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      1. @Cliff

        There could be two answers to that one. And both could involve something that holds something you spit. 😉

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  21. @stille

    Youd be amazed at how many guys have done that before. Now, do you know the other thing it could be?

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  22. Not a condom (look at the size again)

    I thought that living within spittin’ distance of Missouri Clarissa’s probably seen it (and just not realized what it was).

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      1. Yes! Chewing tobacco!

        Looking for pictures, I found out it even has a name (skoal ring). I’d always just thought ‘that white circle from cans of chewing tobacco’.

        And chewing tobacco (and resultant spitting) make menthol cigarettes seem refined for me (I have relatives who chew and it is…. nasty).

        The cans (when not in jeans pockets) look like this:

        https://encrypted-tbn0.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcTKz8-N6iaahsOAkYwiD0mC8oOn99iyJIggPDOn3GI_GRnal4tfwg

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  23. Are you tired of this yet? If not, here are a few more.
    What was the name of Dorothy’s little dog in Wizard of Oz?
    In what novel will you find Ishmael and a ship called Pequod?
    What was Jim Crow?
    Have you ever had Kraft Dinner?

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    1. Toto the Dog! Although I read these novels in the absolutely phenomenal Russian translation where the bad-sounding (in Russian) name of Dorothy was changed to Allie. Which is my childhood name and the name I use to refer to myself in my mind.

      The novel is Moby Dick

      Jim Crow is racial segregation laws.

      And yes, I also had a TV dinner phase. 🙂

      I’m doing well on these ones. 🙂

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  24. One point for each of these you’ve had (two points if you liked it)

    – pork rinds

    -“English” muffins

    – pop tarts

    – pickled egg died pink

    – scrapple

    – tuna casserole

    – crawfish (extra point if you sucked the head)

    – moon pies

    – velveeta

    – hamburger helper (any flavor)

    – Cap’n Crunch

    – three muskateers bar

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    1. I love this! As I’ve commented before on this blog, my parents are both foreign (well they have American citizenship now) so I have a slightly different culture than many Americans–particularly when it comes to food. I have 10 points according to this list: 2 points for pork rinds; 2 ponts for “English” muffins (I have them almost daily); 1 point for pop tarts (don’t like them one bit); 2 points for crawfish; 2 points for velveta; and 1 point for 3 Muskateers (too sweet for me).

      I’m curious to know what your points are Cliff!

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      1. I don’t think I’ve had scrapple (or it didn’t make much impression so 0 to be on the safe side) and neither moon pies nor velveeta were ever favorites (so 1 pt each) and two points for everything else plus the bonus point for sucking the crawfish head.

        (again most of that is stuff I wouldn’t eat on a daily basis, but once in a while I’m fine with them).

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    2. – pork rinds – Tried them, hated them.

      -”English” muffins – Tried them several times and they are neither bad nor good.

      – pop tarts – No.

      – pickled egg died pink – No. But I’ve always been curious. . .

      – scrapple. – I have no idea what it is but I’ve tried Snapple. Does that count?

      – tuna casserole. – I make a killer tuna casserole, so duh. 🙂 And I even tried one with canned tuna once. It was made by a friend from Canada and it was sensational because it had turmeric and everything with turmeric is sensational.

      – crawfish (extra point if you sucked the head). – Of course! Both things! This is like our state critter or something. Plus very popular in Ukraine.

      – moon pies. – Not a clue.

      – velveeta – I used to eat it back in Ukraine but I don’t remember buying it since emigrating.

      – hamburger helper (any flavor) – No. But I know what it is! That’s got to count for something! 🙂 🙂

      – Cap’n Crunch – Not sure what that is. A chocolate bar? So no.

      – three muskateers bar. – I love them!!!

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      1. My father used to make the most heavenly scrapple, I’m not sure why, as it’s Pennsylvania Dutch or German or something, and he was not. It’s pork bits, boiled and put through the meat grinder, mixed with cornmeal and spices, formed into a loaf, sliced and fried. It was wonderful to wake up to the smell of it frying on a cold winter morning.

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      2. “English” muffins are better toasted with Irish butter and New Zealand manuka honey on them, especially when you consider how poorly crumpets do at soaking up both …

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    3. Let’s see: won’t touch pork, let alone pork rinds (0); “English” muffins mentioned below (2); pop tarts are acceptable if you get the off-branded organic variety (2); pickled eggs dyed pink sound revolting (0); no desire for scrapple (0); won’t touch fish for reasonably reasonable reasons (0); crawfish as well (0); moon pies were attempted at a petrol station during cross-country driving in the US (2); velveeta should be sold in tins as emergency rations (1); hamburger helper is horrid (1); Cap’n Crunch is less enjoyable than “tasty hexagons of honey-like flavour” (1); three musketeers bars are surpassed by UK Mars bars (2).

      So my score goes up to eleven, as would say Spinal Tap, which possibly makes me Not Very American. 🙂

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  25. Where did George Eastman he live and what did he do? Why are there so many town names ending in “-port” in upstate New York? Why is Rochester, New York called the “Flower City?” Who sang “Miss Otis Regrets?” And what what show had its highest ratings ever after it was criticized very publicly by a lot of Justin Bieber fans?

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    1. “Where did George Eastman he live and what did he do? Why are there so many town names ending in “-port” in upstate New York? Why is Rochester, New York called the “Flower City?” Who sang “Miss Otis Regrets?” And what what show had its highest ratings ever after it was criticized very publicly by a lot of Justin Bieber fans?”

      – OK, not a clue on any of these. Are we having a generation gap as well as cultural gap here? 🙂 🙂

      But I really want to know the answer to the Justin Bieber question.

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  26. I feel really young in this thread; I don’t know any of the answers to almost any of the pop culture ones because they all had their heyday before I was born.
    So, my turn!
    Which character in which movie said, “Hey kid, ever danced with the devil in the pale moonlight?”
    Whose catchphrase is “Ay Caramba!” when he’s surprised/shocked?
    Which popular song contained the phrase “If you like it then you should’ve put a ring on it”?
    Which movie courted controversy for a song that had the line “where they cut off your ear /if they don’t like your face/it’s barbaric, but hey, it’s home!” forcing the creators to eventually change it to “where it’s flat and immense /and the heat is intense/it’s barbaric, but hey, it’s home”?

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    1. “Which popular song contained the phrase “If you like it then you should’ve put a ring on it”?”

      – This is Beyonce!

      “Whose catchphrase is “Ay Caramba!” when he’s surprised/shocked?”

      – Mine, but how did you know???

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        1. “If that’s the case, you share something in common with a character from the longest-running primetime television sitcom in the U.S!”

          – OK, this one has got to be I Love Lucy.

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    2. Re: “Ay caramba!” I know what the answer is, but I’m not giving it away. I am surprised it’s the longest running sitcom though… but I should have guessed since I started watching when I was a kid. And (maybe a hint to Clarissa) I always found it funny that some of my childhood friends with more conservative parents wouldn’t let them watch it because it would be a bad influence. It was a regular staple for family TV time in my home, and I am one of the few from that group who went to college and didn’t develop a drug problem etc. Totally off topic, but I wanted to share.

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      1. I believe that “Chap of the Manor” is a far superior show, even with that short little buffoon who speaks like he’s from the worst of Appalachia.

        The rest of the characters are spot on as well … 🙂

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  27. More “have you eaten…?” Items:

    Whoopie pie (not the same thing as a moon pie).

    Biscuits-n-gravy.

    A fluffernutter sandwhich

    Rice Krispie treat

    Layer cake made from a cake mix with canned frosting

    Root beer float

    A jello salad involving either mayonnaise or grated carrots

    A smore made from a marshmallow toasted over an open fire

    mint julep

    grilled cheese sandwich with tomato soup, where the cheese is a pasteurized process cheese slice and the soup came condensed out of a can

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    1. These are the easiest questions. 🙂

      Whoopie pie (not the same thing as a moon pie). – Still no idea what that is.

      Biscuits-n-gravy. – Of course, I live almost in Missouri.

      A fluffernutter sandwhich. – No clue.

      Rice Krispie treat. – Still no clue.

      Layer cake made from a cake mix with canned frosting. – Nope.

      Root beer float. – I saw them on TV! That’s got to count for something!

      A jello salad involving either mayonnaise or grated carrots. – Sweet Jesus on the cross. Please tell me, have you eaten all these things???

      A smore made from a marshmallow toasted over an open fire. – No. I’m hopeless.

      mint julep. – No.

      grilled cheese sandwich with tomato soup, where the cheese is a pasteurized process cheese slice and the soup came condensed out of a can. – Did you have to add the can and the processed cheese part? No fair! 🙂 🙂

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      1. I have eaten all of these things, as have many white third+-generation Americans of my class and vintage. Not sure about the mint julep, though. A friend made them from a recipe (not from ingrained cultural knowledge) and they came out more like bourbon slushies than I would have expected. Familiarity with biscuits-n-gravy gives you enough heartland cred to make up for the other stuff! And the culture as a whole seems to have finally moved past the whole jello salad thing, which is evidence that the world CAN improve. (Though there is, in the jello salad, a key to the history of the American soul).

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  28. “- OK, this one has got to be I Love Lucy.”
    Try again! Here’s another clue- The TV show this comes from is the same age as me, we both came into the world in 1989.

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  30. Who were the winners of the first two seasons of American Idol?
    What is the hit song from the latest Disney Princess movie?
    The Lion King had two major controversies. One was related to copyright and the other was about subliminal messaging. Name one of them.

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  31. Very well … since I believe “You shall not pass”, I shall give you one that will allow you to demonstrate how much you are “out” rather than “in” …

    What fundamental American stereotype/character flaw is exemplified by the conflict between the two male protagonists of Washington Irving’s “The Legend of Sleepy Hollow”?

    Given your academic background, this one should be palpably close to home …

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  32. A few more food ones

    0.5 points for recognizing it
    1.0 points for having had it
    2.0 points for thinking “I might have that again someday”

    French dip

    Glorified rice

    clam chowder

    fried catfish

    (clear) Karo corn syrup

    deep fried okra

    Rocky mountain oysters (aka prairie oysters)

    succotash

    any casserole that included Cream of Mushroom soup and potato chips crumbled on top

    poppin’ John

    philly cheesesteak

    sloppy joe

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