My name is Jacob Rabinowitz, and here’s the story of my life. I grew up in a nice Jewish family. I will never forget the good times we had when my father would come home from his work stiffing nice old ladies out of their last penny. Like any good Jew he was greedy to the point of oblivion. By the time he’d be back from the pawn-shop, Mom would return from whoring all over town, which is something all Jewesses do as part of their identity.
We’d sit down to a dinner of some plump and juicy Christian babies, and I will never forget the lovely stench of garlic emanating from the whole family. Uncle Moishe would come by, bringing our share of proceeds from the conspiracy to rule the planet that all of us Jews were in on and we would have a grand old time discussing how we’d fooled everybody by faking the Holocaust. That was one good hustle!
Of course, after my Mom went crazy because of all that whoring and Uncle Moishe choked on a rib of some particularly nasty infant, I knew immediately whose fault it was: Gentiles! I hate those vicious anti-Semitic creatures who keep coming up with ridiculous stereotypes about us Jews almost as much as I hate women.
Brrr, women. The domineering, castrating creatures that are weak and frail by nature should be kept in line by us, men.
So I knew what I had to do to combat anti-Semitism. Praise our Lord Jesus Christ in Heaven for showing me that the best way to stick it to those mean anti-Semites was to convert to Christianity.
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