Yesterday a colleague and I went to a presentation on sabbaticals organized by the Provost’s office.
“And by the way,” the presenter said, “here on our website we have many useful forms. For instance, there is a form you can fill in if a colleague is behaving in a bizarre way.”
My colleague and I exchanged sarcastic stares. We work at a university. Everybody behaves in a bizarre way. What would be really bizarre is if somebody behaved normally, for a change.
I could just imagine filling out this form:
“Dear Provost, I’m am very disturbed by the behavior of my colleagues. They come to work, do their job, and go home. There is no drama, no intrigue, no scary revelations, nobody is getting fired, nobody is collecting evidence against anybody, nobody is suing, nobody is filing grievances, nobody is mortally offended, nobody feels harassed, victimized, persecuted, or bullied. . . This just can’t be right. Please investigate what is causing this highly irregular situation. I want my fellow academics back.”