We are entering the Christmas season, so I promise not to freak people out until the second week of January with the heavy stuff and only post cute funny stories.
Here is one.
A very young cashier at Michael’s asks me, “Are you from Germany?”
“No,” I say. “Ukraine.”
“Oh,” she says. “Ukraine! I would have loved to be born in Ukraine. That is such a fun place to be born. I don’t know much about it but it sounds fun. Not like this town.”
The proverbial kindness of Midwesterners sometimes takes bizarre forms.
Clarissa's Blog 
“A very young cashier at Michael’s asks me, “Are you from Germany?””
People usually think I’m from the Netherlands (as the Hungarian and the Dutch accent are quite similar). Most of them don’t even suspect that someone decent-looking can be from Eastern Europe.
“I would have loved to be born in Ukraine. That is such a fun place to be born.”
I recently heard that it was easy for those who had grown up in communism, because they had already got used to being mistreated in the workplace, so it didn’t bother them any more, and that’s why they were able to find jobs much easier (!!!). I guess it was also intended as a compliment. 🙂 Since then I’m aware of my privilege, and I also recognized I would never be able to understand the plight of the poor westerners. I feel ashamed of my undeserved luck.
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Oh yes, we had a long debate here a few years ago when Americans started telling me that it’s so much easier for me and my husband to get jobs in the US because we had the help of some mysterious social programs back in the USSR that are still making life roadie for us here in the US. People have no idea what an immigrant experience is like and what a cost one pays when one has to work, live and interact in a language not ones own. When everything in the social fabric is mystifying and scary. Until you figure out how to do the smallest, most mundane things, it’s a constant struggle. But I don’t have to tell you about this.
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Wow. I thought it was my unique experience. Now it seems it’s rather something general. I constantly lose my uniqueness :-D. Those social programs in the USSR must have been really mysterious, though. I wonder if anyone met them at all.
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There is nothing mysterious about those social programs, the Americans are probably just calling “social programs” something we would call otherwise. I am talking about free education, and to lesser extent (as this does not directly relate to finding job in the US) – the free healthcare and absence of unemployment). And in a perverse way – yes, living in a harsher environment and not being as spoiled as their westerns counterparts. But I would never call that “a social program”.
—People have no idea what an immigrant experience is like and what a cost one pays when one has to work, live and interact in a language not ones own.
With all due respect, you sometimes start sounding as someone whose initials are MA… 🙂 :). I honestly do not have first-hand experience with what you are talking about here. But maybe in my case it has something to do with me belonging to a linguistic minority in my own country (so being surrounded by language other then my primary one from the day one) and being fluent in three languages (minority, majority, and English) before moving to the US. As a postdoc, so I had a respectable job (albeit low-paying) and the social circle of intelligent people from around the world from day one. I suspect your traumatic experience is more typical for those who immigrated… as immigrants, not via student or work visa.
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“I am talking about free education, and to lesser extent (as this does not directly relate to finding job in the US) – the free healthcare and absence of unemployment). ”
– If people who have been reading my blog for years and still think I somehow benefited from the doctor who broke my nose, the teachers who extorted vodka from me, etc., I don’t think I can help them. 🙂
“As a postdoc, so I had a respectable job (albeit low-paying) and the social circle of intelligent people from around the world from day one.”
– I’m not sure how this relates to anything. Immigration is a profoundly traumatic experience. Even moving house is considered significant life trauma. And it is. Obviously, immigration is even more traumatic. I don’t see the point of denying this. Trauma is not necessarily a negative thing. We have discussed here how trauma can accelerate movement in the direction of one’s choosing, etc. But it’s obviously major upheaval. How can it not be?
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“I suspect your traumatic experience is more typical for those who immigrated… as immigrants, not via student or work visa.”
Or those whose language skills are horrible like mine. 🙂 How can one learn to think on another language? I’ve never grasped that. It’s a constant frustration that I have to translate everything in my mind before I even open my mouth to talk.
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Do you translate everything in your head before you write? You write so fluidly. I know I said this once before but your written English is really phenomenal. You sound as if English was your first language when you write– your style is so natural (and elegant.) From my perspective, you seem like your language skills are fantastic!
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“How can one learn to think on another language? I’ve never grasped that. It’s a constant frustration that I have to translate everything in my mind before I even open my mouth to talk.”
I think the idea of learning to think in another language is misguided (I’m not sure if you think this should be your goal or not, but a lot of people think it should be). There’s a lot of evidence that thought is sub-lingual (or non-lingual if you prefer) so purposefully trying to force your thought into a particular language is generally counter-productive.
I don’t think of speaking a foreign language so much involves mental translating as simply having to plan ahead a little (and that helps me regardless of the language(s) involved).
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I think in dialogues, more often than not. And dialogues have lines. And the lines are in a particular language. I can’t think in images or bits of thoughts uniting imagery and separate words, like other people do.
I also often think in the format of blog posts.
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“You sound as if English was your first language when you write– your style is so natural (and elegant.) From my perspective, you seem like your language skills are fantastic!”
Thanks Evelina, you are really kind, but unfortunately this is only true in writing not in speaking. I don’t have to translate my thoughts when I write, then things come naturally, but that’s not the case when I have to speak. I can’t really figure out the reason, but I also communicate better in writing in my native language. I don’t like to speak. In fact, I hate to speak. Well, maybe my problem is not with the foreign language itself but with speaking as an act. Speaking just freaks me out. I was like that even when I was a small kid. I never talked much to anyone, I just read and wrote (which wasn’t surprising in an abusive family). Thanks for the new perspective, I’ve never thought about it this way, I owe you one. Maybe it’s not my language skills, but my oral communication skills. I’ve always thought I just suck in languages.
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@cliff arroyo
Well, I took the idea from a book written by a woman who supposedly spoke 16 different languages. 🙂 She wrote that one had to learn to think in the given foreign language if wants to speak fluently.
“purposefully trying to force your thought into a particular language is generally counter-productive”
I’m not sure in that. Each language has its own logic, and the thoughts that can arise in someone’s mind depend on the language he or she is familiar with. We have a proverb which says you are worth as many people as many languages you speak, because each language results in a different kind of thought process or thinking pattern. For example I began to reread my favourite books in English, and when reading them completely new ideas and thoughts come up in my mind that I didn’t have before. Maybe if I read the same books in French or another language that would result in a different thought set again.
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“I think in dialogues, more often than not. And dialogues have lines. And the lines are in a particular language. I can’t think in images or bits of thoughts uniting imagery and separate words, like other people do.”
It’s the same for me, however I usually don’t think in dialogues but in prose. But never in imagery, I always put my thoughts into words. Recently I began to think in a lyrical way, and try to find rhymes in the English language. When I have to learn a new word recently I try to find another word which jingles with it. My plight is bright, I hug my mug, and other idiotic sentences (usually they don’t have any sense).
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What an offensive statement to suggest that you were born inside a large bird with a tall neck.
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A crane ~ Ukraine? 🙂
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*hihat*
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Speaking for myself I’d rather you get anything out in the open you need to and don’t worry about our sensibilities. To the extent that blogging is helpful to you don’t restrict the subject matter for our (supposed) sakes.
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I agree with Cliff here. Blog about whatever comes to your mind (good, bad, happy, irritating, sad). This is your blog and we enjoy reading it all. 🙂
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Same here. We’re not hothouse flowers.
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I have been getting complaints. Especially since this is the holiday season.
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“I have been getting complaints”
Anyone with complaints should certainly receive a full refund…
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“Anyone with complaints should certainly receive a full refund”
– Good point. 🙂 🙂
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\\ I agree with Cliff here. Blog about whatever comes to your mind (good, bad, happy, irritating, sad).
+1
I am eager to hear about any future developments (if they happen) in the high education, after your last posts.
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\\ I have been getting complaints
At first, I stopped myself from complaining since it’s your blog.
Now I want to complain too: “until the second week of January” is a long-long time, and I was afraid a blog of “cute funny stories” alone would become boring pretty fast, even with your writing abilities, since imo it’s the heavy stuff which attracts readers. At least, me.
Even thought “I have a lot to do now and if Clarissa posts only cute funny stories, I won’t be tempted to spend so much time in discussions, so it’s good for me.” 🙂
/ part-joke
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Yes, conflicting complaints will be hard to handle. 🙂 🙂 But you slipped in a compliment to my writing, so the balance is tipping in your favor. 🙂
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“Are you from the Yoo-Kay?”
“No, I was born an independent deity and when someone told me that God was in fact an Englishman, I took that as sound advice on locution …”
🙂
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