OK, so remember our struggle for power discussion? Want to know how the situation developed and who was right? See for yourselves:
Apropos of my coming visit, he remarked on our “dating or whatever you call it” before continuing with possible activities while I’m there. A bit later, he told me how much he enjoyed my company; he was happy when we were together. He followed that with a comment about how our interactions often made him think of his ex, when we were in a certain place or talking about a certain subject. Then he referenced how our relationship was “temporary,” although he didn’t have a specific timeline.
I’m never mistaken about these things. The guy won an early advantage and is now pressing it home at every opportunity. He’s the one deciding whether the relationship is temporary and is skillfully keeping his adversary on her toes by having her guess when he will choose to terminate it.
People, remember, whatever you do, don’t become the person who guesses, wonders, frets and tries to figure out what the other person is assuming, implying, wanting or planning. Figure out what you want and make it known. Calmly communicate your wishes in very clear terms.
And for Pete’s sake, do not allow a casual date who won’t even allow you to call him or her a date unload the drama of children, exes, divorces, and psychological issues on you.
Clarissa's Blog 
I’m cranky so my first thought is “Dump him first.” And if he protests throw his words back at him.
But then I’m in a stage where I have no patience for “will he won’t he let’s chase” and this is reactive.
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I’d dump him a long time ago, as well. This is way too much baggage and he is way too smug about the baggage.
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It takes two to tango. She doesn’t seem to distressed here.
My guess is still that she’s an obsessive worrier and he’s keeping her happy by giving her lots of stuff to obsessively worry about (rather than walking off the lot as a person dedicated to non-obsessive worry filled life would do).
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I’m not writing these posts for this specific person. They are aimed at the people who keep going from one miserable relationship to another and never realize that this is simply the scenario that they inherited and that can be changed. As I shared before, I owe my own presently blissful personal life to some anonymous person online who snapped me out of my own miserable scenario many years ago. So I’m just trying to pay it forward. 🙂
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“I’m just trying to pay it forward”
That’s more laudible I suppose than my instincts which tend toward derisive mockery and schadenfreude (which gets a much worse rep than it deserves).
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