Not Technically Abused

~ Clarissa

I was not technically abused as a child, but I was not treated well. My father used to hit us when he was drunk. He never broke anything but he came close a few times, and my brother and I both thought he was likely to kill us one day. I was chronically terrified. My mother ridiculed everything about me, from my ideas to my appearance to my speech patterns. When I was small she would threaten to give me to an orphanage when I misbehaved, and would laugh when I tearfully begged her for reassurance that she would keep me.

Beaten, terrorized, ridiculed, threatened, humiliated, but none of this counts as abuse. God, what a stupid, pathetic tool. Even in adulthood, she can’t manage to give a name to what happened to her.

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Published by Clarissa

4 thoughts on “Not Technically Abused”

  2. There’s this:
    On more than one occasion I reached out to a clergyman (they were all men then) or a friendly Sunday school teacher, only to be told that my situation wasn’t that bad; think of the poor orphans overseas we collected mite for; I had a good family, plenty to eat, and a nice house. Things would get better with time; I would go to college, move away from home, fall in love.

    If everyone in your life is telling you it’s not that bad, it’s not likely you will think everyone is wrong. I’d bet she’s still in contact with her parents.

    But then she grew up and became a clinical psychologist.

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    1. It is extraordinarily hard to pass moral judgment on the crimes one’s parents committed against oneself. It’s very very hard. My interest here lies in those who are trying to do it and not in those who, like this woman, have given up on this effort. She’s choosing to bring her “this isn’t real abuse” into a public forum. By doing this, she sabotages other people’s efforts at liberating themselves. She should bear responsibility for this choice. Imagine how much damage she can do as a psychologist.

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