I believe the author is either lying or the boy in question suffers from a form of mental retardation. He’s 15 and he says things like “My parents are raising me”? And he wants to eat dinner with his parents? And have them engage him in “plentiful family conversation”? And he actually said the words “plentiful family conversation”?
Another possibility is that the boy is a sociopath in the making and says these things because he knows they will please the clueless adults.
Normal teenagers at this age want to be left alone in their rooms with their porn, video games, social networks, weird music, and drama. They don’t want to be “raised by parents amidst shared meals and plentiful conversation.” We have already established that this is a very kind and gentle society that delays development but that doesn’t cancel out hormonal processes, does it?
Clarissa's Blog 
Isn’t this an adult rephrasing what a kid said? I agree a 15 year old would never use those words, but I can imagine a kid resenting it if the parents make a big deal that the whole family has to sit down at the dinner table together (and there are people who make a big deal about that) and then they all stare at their phones. Similarly, it would be incredibly disappointing if your parents came to watch you play sports and they were staring at the phone when you scored or did something impressive.
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“I can imagine a kid resenting it if the parents make a big deal that the whole family has to sit down at the dinner table together (and there are people who make a big deal about that) and then they all stare at their phones”
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I think you are reading too much into the wording. There is no indication in the linked article that the kid actually used the phrase “plentiful conversation”, that’s the researcher’s summary of the conversation in her words. I agree that that would be a weird thing for a kid to say, but I don’t think that’s what he really said.
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But that’s exactly my point. This kid doesn’t exist, he’s been invented by this author and invented very carelessly and unconvincingly. What I’m trying to show with this post is that such articles are always projections and don’t reflect anything but the author’s capacity to invent.
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Ahhh, I think I was being a little dense (or perhaps under-caffeinated) when I first read this. Yes, whatever the boy said, it’s been subject to a heavy dose of interpretation by the researcher.
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Well I did love family dinners even when I was in high school. Mostly for the time I spent with siblings though more so than my parents. I definitely wanted alone time of course. But I also had parents who paid attention to me. I think if I had felt that my parents were ignoring me, maybe that would have been hard?
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And did you notice the reference to the park? Why does he go to the park with his parents? And what is it that he wants them to do as they are all together in the park? Stare at him while he plays with his toy truck?
I can just imagine a teenager coming to school and telling his buddies about the great time he had in the park with his parents over the weekend.
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Yes. The park part specifically is a bit weird. I don’t know what the “park” is about.
But my experience with teenagers is that they are a weird mix of LOOK AT ME/LEAVE ME ALONE. They want parental attention one second, the next second they want to be ignored and sometimes they want everything at the same time. And there is an added bonus if they can make their parents feel guilty about something.
So I can see this as part of normal teenager behavior. And teens really do need their parents still. So if the parents are truly ignoring the son in favor of their electronics, it seems logical to me that the teenaged boy would complain. (But again, the park comment is weird.)
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In my experience, teenagers hit developmental milestones at widely varying rates, manifest their hormones in a wide spectrum of behaviors, and cope with their widely varying circumstances in equally widely varying ways. Sort of like real people. Many are aware of parental hypocrisy, and some even have the verbal skills to articulate that awareness.
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I can totally see a teenager saying, “My parents are such hypocrites.” But I cannot imagine a normal teenager who sees himself as being raised by his parents and wanting them to play with him in the park.
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Really? Maybe he went through his “watching porn in the bedroom phase” last year, or maybe it awaits him next year. Maybe in between bouts of smoking pot with his friends in the mall parking lot, he feels bouts of nostalgia for his childhood. Maybe last week he wanted to be left along in his room and thought his parents were the stupidest people ever, and he’s going to feel that way again next week, but this week, he seems something to admire in them and longs for some connection. Maybe he’s annoyed that they’re always on his ass to get off his phone/computer and holding out the promise of rich connection (say a family hike in the local forest) as a goad, but then when he tries to be the “good kid” they want and go for the bait, they let him down by absenting themselves in precisely the way they dub “wrong” when he does it.
Or maybe these reflections get under my skin because, in between bouts of simmering resentment and profound unsociability, my kids seem to take some pleasure in my company and get annoyed when I’m distracted or absent during times when we could be sharing some pleasure (a meal, a movie, a hike).
So yeah, I’ve screwed them up but good.
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“Maybe he went through his “watching porn in the bedroom phase” last year”
“Maybe he’s annoyed that they’re always on his ass to get off his phone/computer and holding out the promise of rich connection (say a family hike in the local forest) as a goad, but then when he tries to be the “good kid” they want and go for the bait, they let him down by absenting themselves in precisely the way they dub “wrong” when he does it.”
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Lol – sometimes weird kids read weird books and temporarily pick up quirks in their language that they relish because they are trying to establish an identity and “be different” and all that… Not that I am speaking from past personal experience at all… <.< cough But Good Enough Professor is probably right – he’ll likely grow out of it by next week and start doing something else we all think is weird.
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I read the original blog post and immediately felt guilty. We are on our devices (phone, computer, iPad) constantly because we are workaholics and intellectuals who read the news an awful lot. My kids want to be on devices constantly too, and it’s unnerving because I want them to do “kid stuff.” But then, I remember when I was a kid, I wasn’t out playing and such. I was reading constantly. If my mom had taken away that “old” technology (books), I would have done something very dramatic in response.
Every generation laments how the new generation sucks. Is that what this is? Or is there a real problem? Or is it just a difference in lifestyle? At any rate, someone is making fat cash out of tech addictions — there’s rehab for it: http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/09/25/this-is-where-people-are-_n_3976240.html
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