Suggestions for Personal Happiness

I get emails and questions about this all the time, so I want to put my answer up as a separate post.

There is absolutely no reason to be anything other than luminously happy in your relationship with your partner. There is absolutely no reason to accept anything but joy, comfort, love, acceptance and happiness in your domestic arrangement. There is absolutely no reason to live in a war zone. There is absolutely no reason to accept anything that doesn’t make you profoundly happy in your personal life.

Women! If you are bent on feeling accepting and understanding, get yourselves a puppy and you’ll get to be plenty understanding when he pees on your carpet and chews up your shoes. But the project of fixing a grown man and turning him into somebody more similar to a fantasy partner you have dreamt up is a waste of time. Plus, it’s condescending as hell. Start being accepting of your own needs and look for a fellow who is already what you want. Don’t treat people like DIY projects.

Men! If she is reluctant to see you again and is not actively trying to jump your bones every chance she gets, this means she doesn’t want you. You are not wanted. Yes, you can probably bug her to the point where she will sleep with you or go on a date with you just to shut you up already, but that’s pathetic. Have respect for yourself. Don’t view your body as an unwanted old sack of shit that you are trying to palm off on reluctant buyers. It is absolutely possible to have sex without having to beg and humiliate yourself. Just stop for a moment, breathe deep, and let yourself be wanted.

There is no reason not to be passionately desired for the rest of your life by the person you passionately desire. No. Reason. At. All.