Clarissa's Blog

Once a Jerk

There was this girl in high school who was a total jerk. Bullied other kids, tried to bully me with dumb antisemitic garbage, which is especially cute given that she’s Jewish. 

I thought, hey, people change, you can’t judge folks their whole lives by the way they were in high school. So I accepted her Facebook request. 

And now she’s littering my feed with dumb Trumpazoid screeds. 

This is a good life lesson.

The Policy of Small Wins 

I never manage to get anything done when I’m at home with Klara. She’s a very active, curious baby-almost-toddler and needs constant engagement. It’s not my fault that I never manage to do anything but I’ve still been feeling like a loser. It’s a daunting feeling of inadequacy that always leaves me annoyed with myself. My self-image is based to a large degree on being somebody who gets things done fast, so when it takes me 4 hours to wash 3 plates because I’m constantly interrupted, that doesn’t contribute to fostering that image. 

So I adopted the policy of small wins. I now congratulate myself internally for every tiny achievement and stroke of luck. Managed to press a button on the washer while rocking the pram? That’s effective! My favorite parking spot in front of the bookstore is free? Luck is on my side! Managed to entertain Klara by reading aloud the article I need to review? That’s brilliant!

It’s working. I already feel much more content with myself. I also play a game called “We are chic ladies” with Klara. We dress up and I do my hair and makeup and we go to a cafe where I have some very fancy coffee drink while telling Klara how chic and elegant we are. Nothing is easier than feeling dowdy and unimportant next to a baby, and that needs to be combatted.

The Whole World Will Pay

Emboldened by the conciliatory approach of President Trump, Russians have subjected to heavy shelling the Ukrainian town of Avdievka. They have destroyed the water lines and the electrical plant, leaving the town without water and heating. It’s 20 degrees below freezing in Avdievka right now. There are 2,500 children in the freezing town. 

Weak Leader

The way Putin operates is that the kinder Americans are to him, the more aggressive he becomes in Syria, Ukraine, or wherever he’ll strike next. Trump talked to him nicely the other day, and as a result Putin started an offensive in Ukraine. Kindness and amiability mean weakness in his world. He sees Trump as a weak leader because after a very disrespectful press conference Putin has given about him Trump still had such a meek, conciliatory response to him. 

Message to Pricks in Academia 

Some pricks in academia have discovered my post “Pricks in Academia” and are busily pearl-clutching about it on Twitter. I blocked them because I only use Twitter to get updates on what’s happening at the front lines in Ukraine and their pissy outrage over an insignificant little post is cluttering my feed. 

But hey, pricks, read more, publish more and stop fixating on what people think of you. Because nobody has any interest in thinking of you at all. There’s serious shit happening in the world right now. Go read about that and you’ll forget the petty outrage my post caused you. 

Minor Pet Peeve

It’s incorrect to refer to Putin as “Vlad.” Vladimir is never Vlad. Vlad is short for Vladislav. And for Vladimir it’s Volodia if he’s a very good boy, Vova if he’s a regular guy, and Vovan if he’s running around with petty criminals. Another possibility is Vovchik, which makes him sound clownish. 

Sippy Cup Advice

Whoever suggested giving Klara cheerios, THANK YOU! She’s loving them. I thought, for some reason, that cheerios were huge but they are tiny little things. She gets so absorbed in playing with them that I get to have a tranquil breakfast. 

Yesterday Klara had her first borscht and it went very well. She seems to have liked it. 

This week I’ll also try some white fish, like somebody else here suggested. Now that I heard that Klara had a tortilla with melted cheese at school and loved it, I am less fearful about giving her regular foods. 

Now I need more advice. How do I teach her to use a sippy cup? I have a regular one and one with a floating straw. But I don’t know how to communicate to her what to do with them. We didn’t have these things when I was growing up, so I’m clueless. 

On the positive side, she knows how to drink from a glass or a regular cup. Of course, it’s very messy but she figured that out easily. 

Russian Offensive 

Immediately after Putin’s phone conversation with Trump, Russians launched an offensive at the front lines in Ukraine. This is the first time in a while that Russians are so aggressively trying to expand the occupied territory. 

Citizenship 

The culmination of the process we are witnessing will be to see American citizens turned away at the airport. Remember, citizenship is an attribute of the nation-state, and nation-state is what Very Serious People want to destroy.