MLA Musings

People should stop interviewing at the MLA. At breakfast, I heard a hiring committee at the next table go on and on for an hour, exchanging the most ridiculous gossip about a candidate. In their natural habitat, people rarely do this because they have work, family, errands to run, papers to grade. But here they are bored and shit floats upwards from the bottoms of their souls. 

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Female academics I talked to all loved Hillary. Male academics all hated her and weren’t excited. I’m sure this is a total coincidence. 

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“When I said at my interviews that I got really got news this morning,” a job seekers shared, “committee members all looked at me weird.”

“They thought you were about to say you found you are pregnant,” I said. “Drop the “this morning” part because morning is the time when women pee on sticks.”

“Yes,” another colleague said, “a pregnancy would be really good news. To her competitors because that would be it for this job search.”

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I miss N so much that yesterday I watched 3 episodes of American Greed because it’s his favorite show and it reminds me of him.