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Clarissa's Blog

An academic's opinions on feminism, politics, literature, philosophy, teaching, academia, and a lot more.

Alone Time

On Saturdays, Klara spends time with N while I go to lunch alone and then to the salon, or shopping, or to the café. When people find out, they react as if I just confessed to something terrible. It’s like one can’t both love their family and enjoy spending time alone once a week. 

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7 thoughts on “Alone Time

  1. This reaction is a little puzzling. The arrangement you mention happens to be a very common arrangement for most parents I know. Many of the folks we know well from my daughter’s school have parents alternate over the weekend. On Saturdays, mom hangs out with the kids, while dad has some alone time, and on Sundays, it’s dad’s turn.

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  2. Your probably too forthright to darkly suggest that N is an indifferent father and you’re purposefully trying to help foster a bond between Klara and her cold and distant dad (while having spies around to make sure he doesn’t forget her in a parking lot somewhere).

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  3. Fie upon this quiet life on said:

    We have always done a variation of what you described. It’s good for everyone. I particularly need alone time to recharge enough to be with people. If I don’t have alone time, I am a straight-up asshole to deal with. Everyone in my family understands this concept, but like you, I catch a lot of shit from outsiders. Sigh. Maybe they are jealous.

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  4. I think many people cannot fathom a woman alone in public unless she’s shopping or running errands. For instance, going to the movies alone or eating in a restaurant alone (both of which are awesome) are assumed to be done by women (also men, to a lower degree) only because they do not have anyone to keep them company. The society doesn’t seem to fathom that being alone in public is truly enjoyable.

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    • There were people at the last conference I went to who tried to save me from “having to” be on my own much of the day. I had a hard time explaining that I was having a fantastic time.

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