When I’m very tired, I have blackouts, like a drunk. For example, I was observing a teaching demo today, opened my palm and found a small red plastic object there that I’d never seen before. I have no idea where it came from. It was creepy as shit. I don’t know where the object is now because it left as mysteriously as it had come. 

So tonight, I come home from work and I see a large, colorful box with toddler basketball. And I don’t have any recollection of ordering it. 

I told my sister about it and she said she’d told me about buying toddler basketball for her own son.

“You said it was a great idea and you wanted to buy one, too” she explained.

I, of course, had no memory of the conversation. 

“Did you buy it and send it to me?” I asked. 

My sister is the mother of two small kids and she is even more tired than me. 

“I don’t think I sent it,” she said doubtfully. “Am I going nuts? Did I send it and forget?”

“I hope so,” I said. “I’d rather you were the nutso and not me.”

After I fretted for an hour about having gone completely crazy and buying a toy I don’t remember buying, I shared my problem with N.

“Oh, I bought it,” he said calmly.

Now I just have to convince the man to own up to sneaking onto campus and covertly placing a red plastic gewgaw in my palm to mess with my brain. 


3 thoughts on “Parenthood”

  1. I have an alternate theory as to what’s going on. When I was a practicing civilian pyschiatrist , I had a patient who was a university teacher, and she kept finding unexplained personal household objects (dinner dishes, dinner towels, silverware, etc.) at school in her purse, desk drawer, even hidden in the towel rack in the restroom.

    She thought that she might be going crazy, that she was bringing them from her home unconsciously. But when she got home and compared them to the household property, none of the patterns on the items matched.

    Then she went into a real panic a week later on their wedding anniversary, when the husband brought out some new aninversary gifts in store-wrapped gift boxes that had never been opened — and they contained the same pattern that the woman had found on the items in her purse and desk at school — as if the woman had developed a supernatural “second sight” to somehow see what was coming for the future.

    Her husband had almost talked her into checking in to the psychiatric ward, when a school janitor accidently opened a freshman girls’ locker, and found samples of the various dishes, silverware, etc., that had mysteriously appeared in the teacher’s space at school.

    It turned out that the teacher’s husband and the freshman were lovers, and they were hoping to drive the teacher insane, so the husband could get a divorce on the cheap and run away with the coed.

    I assume that you trust N enough to be certain that no such nefarious plot is going on in your household! 🙂


  2. This made me chuckle, and nod slowly in understanding, because boy oh boy how I can relate to this! It truly is a (hopefully short-term) kind of insanity… For which coffee and sometimes chocolate, are the only treatment!


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