And another one from the same source:
“Narcissists tend both to come from and to create families that overvalue family. They have to. Who would want to be friends with a person who behaves so appallingly and so erratically? Family members are easier to brainwash and find it harder to escape.”
It’s all textbook stuff but it’s still interesting. Narcissists tend to form cult-like families that might actually look quite enviable – strong, devoted – from the outside.
These posts about narcissists describe my older sister perfectly. Her first great trauma was my birth, when she was 3, which meant she was no longer the center of my large extended family’s world. Then, shortly after, my grandfather whom she idolized, started molesting her.
She has never lived anywhere but the city where we were born, has been married three times, and thinks family is absolutely the most important thing. But she also thinks our mother is Satan and our father was god. She laments that our dad died and my mom is still alive. But above all, no matter what is going on, it’s all about her — always. Her son was molested by one of her step-sons, and naturally, her reaction was all about how she was affected by that. She used it as an excuse to drink. She’s a raging alcoholic, and uses every tragedy as an excuse to feed her addiction.
I am so glad that I lived away from my family for almost 18 years. I was able to find a life without that toxicity. Even though we live in the same city now, we keep our distance.
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This is very, very sad. And you are right, it’s best to stay away because people with this kind of trauma cannibalize everybody who comes close.
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A conservative literary critic and college professor
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