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Clarissa's Blog

An academic's opinions on feminism, politics, literature, philosophy, teaching, academia, and a lot more.

Oedipal Newsfeed

People who are stuck in the oedipal stage can’t avoid forming conflict-ridden triangles. The point of this activity is to try to insert oneself into a dyad, proving that you matter more than the relationship within it.

Example: you love your job / hobby / friend Judy more than me! Do I even matter to you? 

Another example: mommy can’t possibly have sex with daddy, she loves me and not him. Yesterday and today, my news feed is exploding with missives from sad children who are still fixated on mommy. 

The main two tasks parents face are teaching the child to deal with frustration and helping the child to see the role of “an excluded third participant” as acceptable and not painful. Many people fail at this task judging by the crazy proliferation of triangles everywhere. 

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3 thoughts on “Oedipal Newsfeed

  1. Crystallizing chaos on said:

    Any suggestions on how grown ups can deal with this complex? I know, going to a therapist is the best way to do it. But I’ve found advice on this blog also useful. 🙂

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    • The first step is to start tracking and identifying the triangles in one’s life. All sides of the triangles don’t have to be constituted by people. “The job” or “money” can easily be assigned this role and often are. So when one sees that ok, I have formed a triangle again, the next step is to split it into functioning couples and exclude the third participant.

      Example: if the triangle is me, my colleague and our boss, one needs to discontinue or avoid any discussions of the relationship between the three. There should be a relationship between me and the boss and me and the colleague. It’s important not to dwell on what happens between the colleague and the boss. It’s none of my business what these two adults are doing together.

      Triangles are not that hard to unravel because all you need is to realize they exist and reorient them into couples’ relationships.

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  2. Pingback: Stages of Separation | Clarissa's Blog

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