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Clarissa's Blog

An academic's opinions on feminism, politics, literature, philosophy, teaching, academia, and a lot more.

New Office

There is no new intellectual renewal challenge because I’m using my move to a new office for this purpose. I almost completed the move in just one day. Now I just have to wash the floor and move in the ancient hanging files that I never use but that have to follow me around for some unknown reason.

I came to this university before the digitalization, so I had a mountain of old paperwork to dispose of. It was so enjoyable to ditch all the merit folders and pre-tenure reports. Of course, everything has its positive and negative sides, and this move has them, too.

Positives:

  1. The new office has a window. We have no windows in the classrooms, and I didn’t love being deprived of natural light the entire time I was at work.
  2. Moving to a new office gives me a chance to go over my teaching materials and ditch everything I don’t need. I ended up disposing of 95% of my teaching materials because I love making up new stuff and I hate teaching the same thing all over and over again.
  3. The new office has a huge soft armchair that will help me read in the office.
  4. I got a chance to arrange everything in the new office to fit my new goals in my profession.
  5. The new office has many more bookshelves.
  6. The new office has no history of dead birds falling from the ceiling.

Negatives:

  1. The new office doesn’t have a closet with coat hangers for the coat, shoes, dresses, and blouses. Until mid-October, I will have to change at least once (and ideally twice) at work because I don’t lecture, I work with students who are talking in small groups. I have to come very close to them and, sorry for the TMI, but I don’t want to reek of sweat when I do that.
  2. I will now have neighbors. Not inside my office, of course, but in offices next to me. My former office was very isolated and I could blast my trashy Russian TV shows where people yell Russian obscenities at each other while I prepped and graded. Now I won’t be able to do that because it will disturb the neighbors. (I detest earphones).
  3. The colleagues will finally discover what a lazy layabout I am. But it’s too late because I already have tenure.

Tomorrow I will complete the move and post photos of the new office.

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8 thoughts on “New Office

  1. “The new office has no history of dead birds falling from the ceiling”

    That’s because the dead bird dispenser hasn’t been installed yet. There was a story about how your university, now that there’s a state budget, has decided to install costly machines in all buildings that will, at random intervals, drop dead or dying birds in random rooms and offices.

    They had to stop all new hiring and cut three tenure lines and close down a department or two, but the administration is confident of the benefits that the dead bird dispenser will bring. Expect to get a memo summoning you to a seminar that will instruct you on the 18 pages of paperwork you will have to complete when a dead bird is deposited in your classroom or office (and the fourteen pages of paperwork you’ll have to fill out every week that no dead bird is delivered.

    Liked by 1 person

    • It almost doesn’t even sound like a joke, especially if he put some useless but insanely expensive new tech instead of the birds.

      By the way, my fight against clickers failed and the university is ordering a bunch of super expensive clicker software. Nothing can defeat my colleagues’ preference for letting students click away instead of actually teaching.

      Like

  2. DWeird on said:

    What about earphones don’t you like? The feel of it, or the insulation from the rest of the world?

    Like

    • They tug on my ears and give me a headache. Even the cordless ones.

      Like

      • DWeird on said:

        You could get a pair of headphones that encapsulate your ears instead of tugging them, with thin dual metal bands for the frame – I imagine the volume of hair is an issue with other types of headphones.

        Something like this.

        Might be a bit overkill if that’s all you’re going to use them for, but “I have headphones on” is a pretty good nonverbal cue that you don’t want to talk in general. Might have a use in that department.

        Like

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