What’s an Expensive Wedding?

What would you consider an expensive wedding? $10,000? $100,000?

How about a billion dollars?

A Russian oligarch recently married off his son and the wedding was so insanely lavish that it cost just a bit under a billion. Yes, with a b.

Trained monkeys. . . sorry, artists who entertained these criminals were Sting, Jennifer López and Enrique Iglesias. Guests received goody bags filled with diamond jewelry. The bride’s gown weighed 28 lbs because it was covered with precious stones. 

There’s a link here but the oligarch removed the photos of this monstrosity.

P.S. OK, I just found a link that still has photos. It’s in Russian but just scroll down to the photos. I promise you’ll perish from laughter. 


17 thoughts on “What’s an Expensive Wedding?”

  1. Meanwhile, in this fucking banana republic, the republican party releases the text of a bill literally hours before voting on it.

    The contempt these people have for democracy is really stunning. Russia would be their dream state.


    1. And how about these so-called senators trying to pass a bill they don’t want to be adopted just to get Ryan to step in and save their asses? Is that pathetic or what? Damn idiots. They’ve been screeching repeal Obamacare for years and never even tried to come up with a functioning alternative.

      Yes, this is made to order to make Russians giggle and get confirmed in their belief that democracy is a joke.


  2. Well, thank God the Democrats are acting like grown-ups, prudently and competently getting their act together, deciding who’s going to lead them into the future, defining what their specific policies are going to be, and demonstrating to the country how a responsible political party acts!


    1. A complete non sequitur. Tell us again how great it is to keep bills secret until a couple of hours before voting on them. I’m sure you’ll find a creative way to defend even this, so let’s hear it.

      You must really hate this country.


      1. “You must really hate this country.”

        If you love it so much, why don’t you become a citizen so you can VOTE and actually affect its policies?


  3. It doesn’t look like they spent a billion. The bride should have had a diamond kokoshnik. (the queen has one)

    The flowers weren’t bright and abundant enough for a billion dollars.


    1. “The flowers weren’t bright and abundant enough for a billion dollars”

      Yeah, it looked like a pretty chicken shit affair… They should have paved the floor with diamonds and then taken a cue from the Kwakiutl (or Tlingit?) and have a line of dead slaves for the bride to walk on as she made her way to the altar….


  4. I looked up the guy in wikipedia and it says that he was born to an Ingush family, is he ruski or rosjanin?

    Also, my eyes jumped right over ‘son’ in your post and assumed he was marrying off his daughter (the idea of a father paying for his son’s wedding and turning into a circus in whoretown is very weird).

    Is that an islamic symbol on the cake?

    All available evidence points toward muslim in general having major daddy issues (like catholics and jews have mommy issues) are Russians daddy obsessed too (it would make sense of a sort….).


    1. They are not ethnically Russian, they are Kazakh, I think. And yes, they are Muslim.

      I also wondered what was wrong with the son that they should be so ecstatic to get him married off to a student of dentistry.


      1. Some of the milder comments

        But in Russia there has been something of a backlash against the lavish ceremony – following a report by Russian Tatler that the bride from an ‘ordinary’ family was chosen after a lengthy search for a woman to fit ‘all the strict demands, to be beautiful, a virgin, shy and not public’, meaning not seeking the limelight.
        ‘The quest for the ideal bride for Said Gutseriyev went for long four years,’ said Tatler, explaining the conditions that had to be met.
        This sparked a heated online debate, with comments apparently from female readers saying: ‘So she is 19 and she is a virgin? What village did she come from?’ and ‘A virgin at 19? And it took them just four years to find her? That was quick.’

        He obviously didn’t marry his son off to a child of another oligarch. Otherwise the bride’s family would be paying for the wedding. Weddings are about social status and there’s simply no way the bride’s family could pay for a lavish wedding for an oligarch.
        The wikipedia page for the Mikhail Gutseriyev is so absurd. “I have so many degrees, including one for ‘athletics in the decathlon’!” It sounds like he worked his way through the ruling party power structure and then benefited from those connections.


        1. They are not ethnically Russian, so they are more likely to go with the tradition of taking in a “poor but good” girl whom nobody can protect and who can be subjected to any indignity they wish.


            1. Ethnically Russian oligarchs would find a bride who’s richer not poorer.

              But wouldn’t the bride’s family then have the upper hand if they were richer?

              See, I have no idea how difficult or easy it would be for a Russian oligarch’s kid
              to find another Russian oligarch’s kid, even if they all have large families. And I don’t know if a Russian oil oligarch kid would go for say, a member of the Saudi royal family. “We’re both really rich! From oil!” might not overcome other differences, but I don’t know how oligarchs operate.

              They are not ethnically Russian, so they are more likely to go with the tradition of taking in a “poor but good” girl whom nobody can protect and who can be subjected to any indignity they wish.

              Clearly the Trumps don’t emulate marrying someone richer.
              Notice that only the daughter married someone from roughly the same class.


              1. No, because she’s a woman and that makes them all worthless. Going for a Saudi would be a huge loss in status because they are perceived as non-white.


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