Advances and Harassment

Harassment is not when a guy makes a romantic advance. It’s when he hears a no and refuses to accept it. 

There’s nothing evil, immoral, or wrong about approaching a person and expressing admiration and / or interest. What is immoral and wrong is insisting after a person makes it clear she is not interested. 

It’s normal for people to want to meet other people, including for romantic purposes. It’s normal to find somebody attractive and want to express your admiration. What’s not normal is failing to understand and accept that the interest might not be mutual. It’s the ones who keep insisting, moaning, begging, and droning on like broken robots that I hate. 

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13 thoughts on “Advances and Harassment”

  1. One problem (which might sound weird to someone from your part of the world) is that in traditional NAmerican practice women are almost always supposed to express initial disinterest (lest they be labelled ‘fast’).

    So many men aren’t sure if the ‘no’ was a real, sincere ‘no’ or merely the same polite refusal one is supposed to express (as when offered something by one’s host) or a real refusal. Especially since men aren’t trained in anything like the more subtle forms of communication.

    In Poland (and I assume Ukraine) women are a lot more forthright.

    It’s not just men that have to change in the NAmerican context….

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        1. Yeah, why would any intelligent man waste time with a woman who says, “No”? There’re too many around who can’t wait for the chance to say, “Yes!”

          (At least, there used to be, once upon a time — and I doubt if the world has changed that much since I got old.)

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          1. That’s exactly what I’m saying.

            It’s clear that the most sexually successful men are not the ones who moan, beg and look pathetic in the process. The most sexually successful men are begged and pursued. So I’m guessing it’s not sex the whining men are after.

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    1. If she says no yet is interested, let her come find you. Why insist? Why look for humiliation? There’s a lot of fish in the sea.

      There’s no woman, no matter how repressed, timid or self-involved who fails to make a grab for a guy she really likes.

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    2. “One problem (which might sound weird to someone from your part of the world) is that in traditional NAmerican practice women are almost always supposed to express initial disinterest (lest they be labelled ‘fast’).

      So many men aren’t sure if the ‘no’ was a real, sincere ‘no’ or merely the same polite refusal one ”

      Literal MRA/redditRedPill/pickup artist talking points lol. Fucking creep.

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    1. “assuming that you are correct, this may be a result of social conditioning”

      it’s totally social conditioning (including making sure that most men don’t have the communication skills to disentangle form and content

      “If men accepted “no” at face value, they would eventually condition the women not to play games. Win-Win…”

      agreed

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