Harassment is not when a guy makes a romantic advance. It’s when he hears a no and refuses to accept it. 

There’s nothing evil, immoral, or wrong about approaching a person and expressing admiration and / or interest. What is immoral and wrong is insisting after a person makes it clear she is not interested. 

It’s normal for people to want to meet other people, including for romantic purposes. It’s normal to find somebody attractive and want to express your admiration. What’s not normal is failing to understand and accept that the interest might not be mutual. It’s the ones who keep insisting, moaning, begging, and droning on like broken robots that I hate. 

13 responses to “Advances and Harassment”

  1. cliff arroyo Avatar

    One problem (which might sound weird to someone from your part of the world) is that in traditional NAmerican practice women are almost always supposed to express initial disinterest (lest they be labelled ‘fast’).

    So many men aren’t sure if the ‘no’ was a real, sincere ‘no’ or merely the same polite refusal one is supposed to express (as when offered something by one’s host) or a real refusal. Especially since men aren’t trained in anything like the more subtle forms of communication.

    In Poland (and I assume Ukraine) women are a lot more forthright.

    It’s not just men that have to change in the NAmerican context….

    Like

    1. Tal Hartsfeld Avatar

      Transparency is not held in high esteem in North American culture
      …duplicity and false fronts are more the norm.

      Like

      1. Clarissa Avatar

        Guys just try too hard. Why, is a total mystery. Women are as interested and desperate as men are.

        Like

        1. Dreidel Avatar
          Dreidel

          Yeah, why would any intelligent man waste time with a woman who says, “No”? There’re too many around who can’t wait for the chance to say, “Yes!”

          (At least, there used to be, once upon a time — and I doubt if the world has changed that much since I got old.)

          Like

          1. Clarissa Avatar

            That’s exactly what I’m saying.

            It’s clear that the most sexually successful men are not the ones who moan, beg and look pathetic in the process. The most sexually successful men are begged and pursued. So I’m guessing it’s not sex the whining men are after.

            Like

        2. cliff arroyo Avatar
    2. Clarissa Avatar

      If she says no yet is interested, let her come find you. Why insist? Why look for humiliation? There’s a lot of fish in the sea.

      There’s no woman, no matter how repressed, timid or self-involved who fails to make a grab for a guy she really likes.

      Like

      1. Stringer Bell Avatar
        Stringer Bell

        That women don’t know what they want is a common trope among misogynists and losers who blame ‘society’ for not getting laid.

        Liked by 1 person

    3. Stringer Bell Avatar
      Stringer Bell

      “One problem (which might sound weird to someone from your part of the world) is that in traditional NAmerican practice women are almost always supposed to express initial disinterest (lest they be labelled ‘fast’).

      So many men aren’t sure if the ‘no’ was a real, sincere ‘no’ or merely the same polite refusal one ”

      Literal MRA/redditRedPill/pickup artist talking points lol. Fucking creep.

      Like

  2.  Avatar
    Anonymous

    Well, Cliff, assuming that you are correct, this may be a result of social conditioning. If men accepted “no” at face value, they would eventually condition the women not to play games. Win-Win…


    https://polldaddy.com/js/rating/rating.js

    Like

    1. cliff arroyo Avatar

      “assuming that you are correct, this may be a result of social conditioning”

      it’s totally social conditioning (including making sure that most men don’t have the communication skills to disentangle form and content

      “If men accepted “no” at face value, they would eventually condition the women not to play games. Win-Win…”

      agreed

      Like

  3.  Avatar
    Anonymous

    That was me, valterz… Seems anonymous comments are allowed now…


    https://polldaddy.com/js/rating/rating.js

    Like

Leave a comment

A conservative literary critic and college professor