On the subject of Rauner, he has been recognized as the worst governor in the country. I don’t know, though. I mean, I detest Rauner as much as the next hard-working person, but look at the governor of Wisconsin. He is suggesting mandatory drug tests for all food stamp applicants. I have no words to describe how ridiculous, petty and offensive I find this. So it’s a stiff competition right now. Still, knowing Rauner I’m sure he’ll come up with something to win the title in no time.

During the budget crisis (cf my Rauner posts), the Associate Dean of our Business School got a raise that is larger than my whole salary. If you are a regular reader of this blog, I don’t have to explain to you what I do and what the value of my work is. 

Business School, eh? Because business is totally something you can teach. 

Native speakers of English, help me out. When you pronounce the words “shirt” and “short”, do they sound different? When I pronounce them, they sound identical but I wonder if that’s ok. 

I’ve been weeping with laughter for 5 minutes over this: 

When comic Marcia Belsky sarcastically replied “men are scum” to a friend’s Facebook post back in October, she never anticipated being banned from the platform for 30 days. 

That was exactly what happened. 

Belsky was shocked at the severity of the punishment considering her relatively innocuous comment, and immediately spoke to her fellow female friends about the ordeal.

Severe punishment! Shocked! Ordeal! 
I had the same bout of uncontrollable laughter yesterday when a newscaster asked an interviewee, “Have you pondered the genesis of this tweet?” 

People are taking social media way too seriously.

Read this and ask yourself again if you really want Trump impeached and what you hope to achieve with that. This is a long article but it’s very good. 

The ridiculous hype of nootropics and ‘brain-hacking.’

I agree with this author on the idiocy of the Russian investigation.

It’s incredible that such grievously uneducated, dumb people who think children’s imaginative play is evidence of PTSD should be teachers.

Phasing out Sunday shopping in Poland is not a victory over consumerism but a gift to online retailers. Let’s stop believing that the weak nation-state can score any victories over liquid capital. It can’t. It simply can’t.

Teacher-education programs in our state are being eviscerated. Students are forced to take more and more education theory courses and reduce the number of content courses they take. The subject area that they will actually be teaching is treated like an impediment that has to be rushed through to get to the “really important” pedagogical theory stuff. Of course, there is no pedagogical theory. It’s all just vapid, useless blabber. Students will end up woefully underprepared to teach their actual subject and knowing little but the silly jargon that pleases the state bureaucracy.

Klara asked me to read her “Froggy Goes to the Library” book 5 times in a row today. I knew it was coming, of course, but I thought it wasn’t going to be until she’s four or five. I have no idea how she can sit through such a long and complex story at this age. And it doesn’t even rhyme. 

The worst part is that I don’t like Froggy. The story is about a little boy who is active and curious but everybody constantly screams him down and shames him for being a normal boy and not a creepy robot who sits still and speaks in a whisper.

I had no idea what the book was going to be like because I don’t know these characters. I still can’t tell Elmo from Curious George. (By the way, what’s up with Llama Llama’s father? Where is he? I’m starting to get horrible suspicions.) I only got Froggy because he was on sale. And now I know why.

At the bookstore coffeeshop, the poor baristas are so busy doing the endless upsell that they routinely forget to give you half of the things you ask for. And I only ever get two things, a coffee for me and a gingerbread man cookie for Klara. And have you tried asking a toddler to wait patiently for her gingerbread man? It’s not pretty.

I’d come to the bookstore a lot more often if I didn’t dread the multistage upsell.

Does anybody know what “a pinup book” is? Klara and I are giving a Christmas gift to a resident of a local retirement home, and he wants “mystery or romance books; pinup book.” I can provide mystery books by the ton but the second part of the request has me stumped. Amazon is not being helpful.

A Ukrainian who moved to Norway is taking free language classes for immigrants and just posted a text in Norwegian that appears in the beginner’s language textbook. The Ukrainian Facebook is peeing itself with laughter and I just have to share:

“I wake up at 6 am. I feel exhausted and sleepy. I want coffee. I drink 3 cups and it helps a little. I must have breakfast but I don’t feel like eating. Then I go to work. My bus arrives at 7 am.”

I had the same bout of hysterical laughter as when I read the following dialogue in a Russian textbook:

“- Mom, would you like coffee or tea? – It’s OK, son, I don’t need anything. Eat and don’t mind your old mama. – Mom, seriously, what can I order for you? Coffee? A piece of cake? A fruit salad? – I’m fine, son. Just get me a glass of milk and a raisin bun. – Here they are, mom! – They are for you, son! I’m happy when I see you eat!”

When you show this textbook page to literally any Russian speaker, they immediately complete the dialogue with, “Why aren’t you eating? Don’t you love your mama at all? I knew you hated me!” It’s a cultural thing.