I Pledge Allegiance
I can no longer say my favorite “I love you, Americans, but you are so wackadoodle” because I just had my citizenship ceremony and I’m now American. Yay!
There were 10 Daughters of the American Revolution at the ceremony, which was super rad because I never thought I’d get to see one in real life. They all had perfect hair and beautiful brooches.
There were 62 immigrants total. The largest group was from the Philippines. The second largest, Hispanics. Mostly Mexico but also Peru and Ecuador. No Spaniards, no Basques. Five very eager Brits. Aside from us, two Russians, one Ukrainian, one Estonian. All women, all emaciated, all deeply enamored of peroxide. Nobody else from Eastern Europe. One Canadian. One Palestinian. One German.
The keynote speaker was very talented but extremely politicized. He gave a passionately anti-Trumpian speech about how “it’s not the best time to immigrate. . . our democracy is in greatest danger ever. . . Forces of darkness in the highest echelons of power. . . promote distrust of the free press. . .rely on the meddling of certain foreign powers. . .”
Then the judge was all, “Erm, it’s not as bad as all that. The student activists in Florida give us all hope. Senator Dick Durbin is the greatest friend of immigrants.”
I almost registered to vote as a Republican because I’m contrarian and this was a bit too one-sided for me. Actually, I didn’t register to vote at all because N had to go back to work and I’m very hungry. They served us a breakfast but I couldn’t have any of it because of my diet.