People at my school are very bothered that colleagues at our sister school are condescending to us. Objectively speaking, it’s clear that it’s true and the sister colleagues are, indeed, trying to condescend. I’m not bothered by it, though, because I don’t feel like they can condescend to me, no matter how hard they might try.
In order for one to feel condescended to, one needs to acknowledge that the interlocutor is in the position to do so. My research record is. . . how shall I put it? . . not inferior to anybody working at the sister school. So I can’t worry that sister colleagues don’t see me as a serious scholar. They are not in a position to pass that judgment at all.
It’s the same thing as shame. If you sincerely don’t believe something is shameful, you can’t feel shamed for it. And if you don’t believe you are even remotely beneath someone, they will never make you feel condescended to.