OK, I know it’s boring because I do it every year but it’s not my fault it gets worse every year and I can’t adapt.

Who wants to guess when our neighborhood Halloween party was?

Today.

I keep staring at the calendar like a maniac. I mean, it’s not even the weekend before Halloween. It’s the weekend before the weekend before Halloween. Klara is old enough to understand that something is not right. “But it’s not Halloween yet, Mommy,” she says. “Why are we having a party?” I have no idea what to respond.

On the positive side, kids were given glow sticks at the party, and these were Klara’s first glow sticks, so she’s enraptured.

She’s also a very polite child. “Look, a witch!” a said pointing to one of the decorations.

“It might actually be a skeleton, Mommy,” she said gently. “I think you made a mistake. But that’s OK! Don’t be sad!”

10 responses to “Early Halloween”

  1. Dreidel Avatar
    Dreidel

    So exactly who/what association decided that today was going to be the Halloween celebration? Does the party mean no house-to-house treat or treating in your weird neighborhood?

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    1. Clarissa Avatar

      God, I hope there’s trick-or-treating. I invited people from the neighborhood that doesn’t do it to ours. Plus, Klara is expecting it.

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      1. Dreidel Avatar
        Dreidel

        You are aware that in some places in America today, it’s ILLEGAL to go trick-or-treating before 6 pm or after 8 pm, aren’t you? Be sure to watch the clock so you don’t get arrested.

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        1. Clarissa Avatar

          So. How about that Sinema character? You are voting for her, right?

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          1. Dreidel Avatar
            Dreidel

            You think I’d vote for somebody named after a movie complex? Already voted (early voting allowed here by mail), so I expect to get called for jury duty within a month or two.

            I am so looking forward to turning 75 so they can’t summon me anymore — over five million people live in the Phoenix metropolitan area, and somehow I’ve been called five times since I retired!

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            1. Clarissa Avatar

              Hmm, it sounds like a criminal hub where you live. 🙂

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              1. Dreidel Avatar
                Dreidel

                Yeah, the heat brings out all the perverts.

                Three of the trials I was called for involved sexual assault with minors. I knew when I heard the charges read out early in the morning in the courtroom that the defense lawyers would never allow a psychiatrist who had once been in charge of a whole ward of “Mentally Disordered Sex Offenders” to be seated on the jury — but I still had to sit in the courtroom all day before I was formally dismissed.

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  2. Alex the Physicist Avatar
    Alex the Physicist

    Here’s the most important question: What will this adorable little girl dress up as for Halloween?

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    1. Clarissa Avatar

      She will be a pink bunny. A very scary pink bunny. It’s all about the color of the costume at this stage. If it isn’t punk or purple, she has no use for it.

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  3. Tal Hartsfeld Avatar

    Well, no-one’s ever consistent about anything anymore. How can one NOT get confused?

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A conservative literary critic and college professor