There is this really useful exercise that I like to do. Lie down, close your eyes, and remember yourself 10 years ago. Unless you have a diary, it’s impossible to remember exactly what you did on April 21, 2009. But you know where you were in your life that April. Where you lived, what you did, what worried you, what you lacked, what you wished for, how you felt.
Immerse yourself in the memory. Be the person you were 10 years ago. If the memory is pleasant, if the you of 10 years ago was healthier, more energetic, and less jaded, inhabit that version of yourself and drag it to the present with you.
If the you of the past was unhappier, sicker, poorer and lonelier than you are right now, linger in the contrast and bring the feeling of achievement and relief back to the present with you.
Either way, it will be a refreshing experience.
Oof, it probably wasn’t a very good time. End of year 5 on the tenure track, probably just done traveling like crazy on the “tenure tour,” missing my two-year-old at home (middle boy), being testy and miserable and probably quite unpleasant to everyone. Around this time in 2009 I was putting together my materials to send out to external letter writers in May, so they’d have the time to write the letters over the summer. A ridiculously stressful time. Thank God it’s in the past.
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My life was a total mess 10 years ago. I’m also extremely glad it’s in the past.
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