Baby Conduit

I think the midwives’ pay should be docked for every day they fail to deliver a baby through a penis. Let them put their money where the prostate is or stand up to this ridiculousness.

Alternatively, they can wait for Elon Musk to buy their university. Maybe he should deliver the babies for them, as well.

14 responses to “Baby Conduit”

  1. Ed Frey Avatar

    “…deliver a baby through a penis” That will certainly redefine the pains suffered from vaginal births.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Clarissa Avatar

      Nobody said diversity and inclusion are easy.

      Liked by 1 person

  2. Alex the Physicist Avatar
    Alex the Physicist

    Monty Python didn’t go far enough.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Clarissa Avatar

      Yes, comedy has squarely lost to reality.

      Liked by 1 person

  3. Pen Avatar
    Pen

    What the hell did I just read?

    They don’t realize it would be the other way around?

    Like

    1. cliff arroyo Avatar

      “They don’t realize it would be the other way around?”

      I don’t think they do…. they’re just that deranged… even if the article were about F2M cases they wouldn’t get phallo-plasty (ie cosmetic non-funcitonal pseudo penises) until after giving birth….

      But they’ve become so allergic to reality that…. (I have no idea how to finish this sentence….)

      Liked by 1 person

      1. paranoid Avatar
        paranoid

        I follow some trans activists on Twitter, and they would find the way the textbook got it backwards ridiculous and offensive. Unlike the book’s authors, they aren’t that unmoored from physical reality.

        Liked by 1 person

        1. methylethyl Avatar

          This is not, and never has been, about actual trans people.

          It’s about tying regular people up into moral and logical knots so they can’t object to being exploited.

          Liked by 1 person

  4. Victoria Avatar
    Victoria

    I had my hospital call today regarding my upcoming ultrasound (baby #3). The receptionist asked what “my gender assigned at birth” was. For a fetal ultrasound…I had to laugh. She did realize the ridiculous nature of the question, at least. She prefaced the question with “I know what your answer is, and I’m so sorry to ask but the state requires me to ask this question…”. We are becoming more and more ridiculous every day.

    My husband says I should’ve answered that I don’t remember and would have to ask my mom. He’s probably right. Woulda kept things lively.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. methylethyl Avatar

      Oh, you could drag that out delightfully by reporting that you mom doesn’t remember either, due to the drugs they gave her… so you’re gonna have to file a records request with the health department.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. bluebird of bitterness Avatar

        Or you could just say, “I don’t know, I’m not a biologist.”

        Liked by 1 person

        1. Clarissa Avatar

          “Excuse me, doctor, where do babies come from?”

          “I don’t know, I’m not an OB-GYN. I mean, I am but I still can’t say for sure.”

          Liked by 2 people

          1. methylethyl Avatar

            Remember when people defended sex-ed in schools by giving horrifying examples of girls who got pregnant at 14 because they had no idea how babies even happened? Of mortifyingly naive people who made it to adulthood, and even marriage, without figuring it out?

            We’re now deliberately educating for this. Genitals are just incidental, malleable, pleasure organs. Getting pregnant and having babies has nothing whatsoever to do with any objective biological reality. Because we don’t want to offend anyone.

            What could possibly go wrong??

            Liked by 2 people

            1. Clarissa Avatar

              Great point. Just as teen pregnancy rates were dropping, it was necessary to go and erase all that progress.

              Liked by 2 people

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A conservative literary critic and college professor