The “COVID statement” we have to include in our syllabi this semester is very crazy, even for an already bizarre genre. It starts by saying that we have no COVID requirements. No social distancing, no mask mandates, no testing. This is all well and good and reflects objective reality, albeit quite needlessly because what’s the point of listing the limitations that don’t exist? “Please note that on our campus it’s not forbidden to eat lunch and there’s no requirement to stand on your head for 3 hours in order to do it.” OK, good to know, moving on now, you cray-cray clowns.
However, after the short paragraph on the lack of COVID reqs, the statement goes nutso-cuckoo-boom-boom and lists, in an increasingly shrill tone, the punishments that – wait for it! – you would receive if there were a mask and testing requirement and you broke it.
Three pages, people! It goes on like this for 3 pages. I changed the font to Times New Roman 9 but it’s still taking up more room that the rest of the syllabus.
It’s as if once people said the word “COVID”, they simply couldn’t stop. They have to go on and on, praying to their one true god.