A Study in Contrasts

I asked for a bowl of mushroom soup and the waitress brought me this bath tub.

Maybe it doesn’t look that big in the picture but I couldn’t put my arms around it without bending into the soup. (To hold my phone while I read, obviously.)

I could have asked for a cup but then they bring you this tiny thing where you aren’t sure if there’s soup or somebody forgot to wash the dregs off somebody else’s cup.

There’s no middle option. Like everything in America, it’s either amazing or total crap. It’s mostly amazing, of course.


3 thoughts on “A Study in Contrasts

  1. I have a coffee cup that holds roughly 800 ml of liquid.

    Back when I would bother to take this cup places with me, people would comment that I was drinking my coffee out of a soup bowl.

    Where I’ve lived, my coffee cup is in fact a coffee cup.

    There was no ongoing shortage of coffee and therefore anyone’s coffee cup could be that large.

    After all, one large coffee is much more convenient than several small coffees.

    The pity is that I used to have a coffee cup that held roughly 1200 ml of liquid many decades ago, but some damned fool stole it, stole some brewed coffee later on, and then broke the cup.

    My assumption has been that this damned fool broke the coffee cup out of spite after pouring nearly the entire contents of our Architects and Engineers High Viscosity Productivity Blend, produced with Brazilian coffee enhanced with guarana, which by my estimate would have exposed him to 1800 mg of caffeine had this damned fool been crazy enough to drink it all.

    Had he paid attention to the label over that area’s coffee maker that insisted on “ONE AND ONLY ONE STANDARD CUP REQUIRED”, he wouldn’t have needed to abscond with my larger than large cup at all.

    I had the 1200 ml coffee cup there obviously so I could drink coffee from one of the other brewers when the one in that area happened to be out.

    Oh, but we all knew who did it, of course.

    There was no way he was going to hide the hand tremors, severe shaking, and other symptoms of sheer panic that resulted from drinking so much of it so quickly.

    Soon after we’d figured that he was also the one taking liberties with lunches we’d bring in, and so some people decided to have a few attractively packaged lunches ready for the taking.

    The homemade sushi packaged with a few drops of oleoresin capsaicin (4.5 million Scoville units) tucked away carefully inside, combined with a few repackaged bits of chocolat fondant that looked like it was from a birthday celebration but actually contained several doses of a well-known chocolate-flavoured laxative mixed in, that was the beginning of the end for him.

    Some joker left a little sign on his desk while he was away dealing with expected emergencies that said “QUIT WHILE YOU ARE AHEAD”.

    Another joker left another little sign next to it that said “OR JUST QUIT”.

    Only after this guy quit to work somewhere else did we find out that the sushi belonged to the head of the architectural firm, but as for the chocolat fondant, nobody said a word.

    We strongly suspect the architectural firm’s head also wrote “OR JUST QUIT”, but could never get him to admit to it, possibly for legal reasons.

    I have yet to find another 1200 ml coffee cup, let alone an 800 ml coffee cup, that’s so sturdily built.

    This is something I may yet have commissioned from some Etsy ceramics maker along with some spares, because after all, why wouldn’t you want a 1200 ml coffee cup? πŸ™‚


    “SHUT IT.” πŸ™‚


    1. I would look specifically for soup mugs. They make them shaped like coffee mugs, too, and are perfect for just about any drink (or soup).


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