My Experience as a Lead

I have had the dubious honor of becoming one of the leads – or sales targets – for unscrupulous salesmen of the kind you see in Glengarry Glen Ross.

Whenever you publish anything, salespeople arrive in droves, trying to exploit your belief that you are an unrecognized genius. For about a month, I got an avalanche of phone calls (including at work) telling me that Hollywood and Netflix are desperate to buy the rights to “my story”, and all that’s needed is for me to pay “a small cataloguing fee” for world fame to arrive.

I’m about the worst possible mark for these poor salespeople because I have no delusions of creative grandeur or dreams of quick riches. But the salesmen didn’t know that, so they kept trying until finally I got placed on some black list of “deadbeats” and they disappeared. Their techniques are identical to the ones you see in the movie. Apparently, there hasn’t been much progress in sales tactics since the 1990s.


2 thoughts on “My Experience as a Lead

  1. “I happen to be a recognised genius.”


    “Yes, you’ve clearly recognised me, so there’s nothing you can do for me at this point.”

    “We’re maintaining a small catalogue …”

    “Also yes, I’m aware of that, and I am already in one since I’m a very notorious person.”


    “I have a Wikipedia page, go look at it briefly …”

    “Says you’re … oh, shit.”


    [the caller has ended the call] 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  2. “techniques are identical to the ones you see in the movie”


    A great resource for understanding them is ‘Coercion: Why we Listen to what “They” Say’ by Douglas Rushkoff. It describes all sorts of sales techniques. On the written page they don’t look very convincing, but in real time with a real person who knows how to use them…
    Lots of other useful/interesting stuff as well from similarities between sales and intelligence interrogation techniques, how cults work and more.

    Liked by 1 person

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