What traditions have you not kept that your parents had?
I don’t bark at my husband. Ever. Zero husband barking is being engaged in at our house.
I grew up to a steady beat of my mother barking at my father, “Misha! Sit there! No, over here! No, I said right there! Stand! No, sit! Move! Why are you breathing so loud? I can still hear you breathe! Sit up straight! Stop humming!
Almost half a century of that, imagine. But I left that multigenerational family tradition in the past.
Clarissa's Blog 
We don’t pile into the car and drive eight hours to visit relatives, 2-3 times a year like my own parents did. Just got back from our first road trip in, like, five years. It was so exhausting I think we will not try it again for at least another five.
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…and we also don’t go in for professional family portraits. That was pure torture when we were kids. Emailing random candid shots to grandparents is good enough for me.
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To not subject ourselves to toxicity in the name of catching up with extended family during holidays and festivals.
I wish everyone felt warm and fuzzy and remained kind to each other, and enjoyed the moments together that one only cherishes once they are lost … but that is not how it transpired for my parents. These were always times for great stress for us, walking on eggshells and still cracking fragile egos and seeing grown ups spar on trivialities. So, on balance, it’s better to be happy alone than be miserable in company.
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“What traditions have you not kept that your parents had?”
Knock on wood…. dying too young.
I’m already a few years past my father’s age when he died (we weren’t clear on when he was born since that was in the boonies and different records had different years…) and I’m a few months away from living longer than my mother…. (and in far better health than either was in their final years). Mostly it’s just more reasonable and healthier living…. I’m not the ‘abstain from everything’ type but I don’t have an addictive personality so everything in moderation works for me pretty well…..
Did I bring the room down?
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I have outlived all of my immediate family by age. My mother died of severe COPD from heavy smoking at 69. My overweight, non-exercising, hypertensive father died from a heart attack at 75. My heavy-smoking, quit-too-late sister died of a stroke at 75. Both of my paternal grand-parents died in their sixties before I was born. One of my cousins died of Lou Gehrig’s disease in his fifties. His sister, another cousin, was largely crippled by arthritis requiring multiple surgeries and died of cancer three years ago. My younger first-cousins-once removed
(the children of my first cousins) have almost ALL suffered from multiple forms of cancer that they have thankfully so far survived. To date I have had no major surgeries and no serious medical illnesses, and like my maternal grandparents, expect to live well into my 80’s and perhaps beyond.
But if I die tomorrow, what the hell? Just as long as the end comes quickly and mercifully.
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And I’m extremely, extremely glad of this.
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Oh! And so far, I have avoided the hysterectomy-at-40. In three generations, I’m the oldest woman to still have a uterus. I’m gunning for making it through menopause intact. We’ll see.
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