Let’s use the now infamous shakshuka video as an exercise.
Whether the woman in the video did or didn’t choose to be alone doesn’t matter. It changes reality not a whit. We are hypnotized by the concept of choice and it distracts us from what really is.
“Choice” is a story the woman on the video tells herself and others. She can change her mind about the story at any time. But that won’t change the facts.
We all create stories to make reality more palatable. There’s nothing bad in it. Actually, it’s very healthy. But there’s a growing trend where people invest some words with such strong meaning that reality fades away completely. That’s why I suggest this exercise: imagine the woman in the video saying “I chose to live like this” and then “I didn’t choose it. It just happened”. See how this is the exact same woman in the exact same situation?
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The really sad thing is that she could tell herself a much better story if she could be honest about her own internal state… she’s sad. She’s in pain. You can see it in her face.
Like, what if she told herself that she’s miserable, but that she’s strong, intelligent, resourceful, and she’s on a quest to find out how to live a meaningful life in a world that doesn’t support that? What if she admitted to being miserable, but cast herself as a hip noir detective investigating the mystery of why modern single rootless life sucks so much? Like, she knows where the pain is coming from, that’s why she’s so focused on “personal freedom” and vacuous entertainment. What if she could imagine herself as a valuable member of a community? What if she could see herself as a player in the ultimate drama of salvation: a child of God, endowed with the Divine Image, working toward unity with the divine will, a St.George-like warrior battling the unseen forces of evil, conquering the passions, and becoming a conduit of divine grace in the world?
Same situation, to start with, but with so much more possibility for changing the situation for the better. Defending your misery leaves you no way out of it.
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“Defending your misery leaves you no way out of it”
Declaring your misery to be a source of joy and fulfillment is even more of a dead end.
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Wait … there’s an infamous video about shakshuka … and I missed it? 🙂
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