My suggestion for men on how to achieve great marital sex and avoid being deadbedded within two years of marriage is this:
Choose somebody who wants you sexually and not only as a source of a relationship. Being in a relationship means something very different to women than it does to men. It’s a source of enormous peer validation and it is sought as a value in and of itself. This is an evolutionary survival mechanism. A pregnant woman or a woman with a small child would find it hard to survive without a man to feed and protect her. Even today it’s not entirely untrue, imagine in prehistoric times.
So simply look at what is being desired, you or peer validation. If it’s very important that the wedding is just so instead of that the wedding is to you, it’s a dead giveaway. If she posts a lot of perfect relationship moments on social media, that’s another. If she looks at you like a DIY project, if the narrative about the relationship is more important than actually being with you. Like that story about a woman who was on her boyfriend’s case because he wouldn’t send her romantic text messages every morning. It wasn’t about him but about the role he was supposed to play in the enactment of a perfect relationship. If that sort of performative shit matters, deadbed is on the horizon.
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