Imagine discussions on entrepreneurship where people would demand respect for their perspective based on how many businesses they drove into the ground. Or discussions on education driven by people who flunked out of 5 colleges. Or on how to save money where people with $60,000 in credit card would condescendingly lecture those with none.
This doesn’t happen in any area of life except dating. It’s extraordinary how many people think that their constant failures entitle them to lecture everybody else. “You have no idea how bad things are! Men / women are terrible.”
No, my friend, it’s not “society” that’s causing your problem. You are causing your problem. I’m only saying it because I was also like this. Then I found the courage to admit that it wasn’t low-quality men who were causing issues but me. Immediately after that, I found great personal happiness.
By the way, I’m also a person who flunked out of two colleges and had a lot of credit card debt. I lay no claim to anything remotely resembling perfection. But I do lay claim to knowing that you can spend the rest of your life whining about how unfair everything is or you can leave this pastime to others.
Clarissa's Blog 
The entrepreneurship influencer space is full of people who have founded multiple failing businesses. I can just look, rather than imagining it.
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“entrepreneurship influencer space is full of people who have founded multiple failing businesses”
Do they frame these as learning experiences/cautionary tales or models to follow?
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I used to work in that sector. They talk about it like writers saying “just keep writing until you get good at it”. Like you’ve got to rack up five or six failed startups before you get one that works. It’s part of the learning process and proves you’re an energetic leader type or something.
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But they all ended up forming a successful one. Nobody comes to the space from pure failure. Nor do they come with the narrative that success is impossible.
If there’s ever been a space booming with almost superhuman positivity it’s the entrepreneurial space.
The modern dating narrative is that everything is hopeless and everybody is doomed. And it’s spread by people who failed and are condescending to those who didn’t. You won’t find anything of the kind in entrepreneurship circles.
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And yet, I get the stink-eye when I admit that I married the first and only guy I ever dated. We’ve been married fifteen years. We still like each other and we have amazing kids.
But no, track record doesn’t count. Have lost track of the number of people I’ve talked to who insist you can’t know what you want in a partner until you’ve dated like twenty people.
Sigh.
That wasn’t blind luck. I’m picky and I know what I want. And that’s a valid strategy.
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