Those Who Left First

This is an old Soviet joke.

In Moscow newspapers, an announcement appears that caviar will be available for purchase at the Yeliseev grocery store at the shockingly low price of 67 kopecks per kilo.

People line up all the way to the Kremlin to buy the caviar.

It’s very cold. People get hypothermia, but they remain in line. Every once in a while, they make roll calls.

At 10 o’clock, the store manager comes out and says:

– Comrades! No caviar will be sold to Jews!

The crowd buzzes approvingly, and Jews leave, cursing anti-Semites.

2 p.m. The store manager comes out to the frozen crowd again and says:

– Caviar will only be sold to people with a Moscow residence permit!

Some people leave, and the rest of the crowd hisses, ‘Serves you bastards right.’

6 p.m. The store manager comes out to the shrivelled and thinned out crowd again and says:

– Caviar will only be sold to the veterans of the Patriotic War!

After this, there are only a few dozen people left in the queue.

At 9 p.m., the store manager comes out and announces:

– Caviar will only be sold to the veterans of the Patriotic War of 1812!

The people disperse, sighing sadly, but there still is one old man left in front of the store and he’s so cold he’s almost in rigor mortis.

The store manager invites him to his office, pours him a  shot of vodka, and asks:

– Are you a communist?

– Yes! – The exhausted old man answers.

– Then you have to understand. The thing is, there’s really no caviar, but we had to hold a promotional action to show the whole world that in the USSR we have cheap caviar for sale! Do you understand why we just had to do it?

– Yes, of course, I get it, says the old man, but I still don’t understand why the Jews were the first ones to be released???