Christian Moniz Rabino is a gangster who murdered his girlfriend’s one-year-old son. He was sentenced to probation and anger management classes.
It’s another story what kind of a sorry excuse for a woman brings this kind of fellow into her toddler’s life and lets him brutalize the little boy.
I don’t know what’s wrong with us as a society that we let this happen, over and over again.
Clarissa's Blog 
It’s well established that children are in the most danger from mom’s boyfriend. Very sad, and common,
Amanda
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Yes. I will never understand the obsession some women have with inflicting every casual boyfriend on such small children. Why is it necessary to have a boyfriend at all when the kid is so tiny?
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“children are in the most danger from mom’s boyfriend”
In the animal kingdom, including some primate species, it’s not unusual for males kill the offspring by a previous… partner of a female.
This should be much more widely known and women who find themselves single with small children need to be _exceedingly_ careful allowing outside males access to them. But almost everything in the culture encourages people to do stupid things and it’s helpless children who pay…
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Cliff Arroyo
Yes, that is normal rational behavior in bears and cats, plus some primates including orangutans, gorillas, and chimpanzees in new alpha positions, designed to bring the females into estrous. Not certain how that would be a similar evolutionary factor in humans — except possibly involving nursing females?
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Part of the tragedy there is that human cultures *have* come up with ways to handle this situation, but American culture, while rejecting the “get married, stay married” norm, has barred the door on the other viable options.
In matrilineal cultures, the maternal grandfather and uncles would be responsible for the protection and welfare of the children from the start.
In Viet culture, where marriage is still the norm, divorce and widowhood do happen: in that case, the children typically remain with the mother unless/until she finds a new man. If/when that happens, the children go to live with their maternal grandparents.
This does not work in American culture, where family ties are mostly regarded as disposable, there is a horror of any kind of financial or serious social obligation to one’s parents, one’s adult children, or one’s grown siblings, and people wait so late to have children that many are too old to care for grandchildren anyway.
-ethyl
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methylethyl
It is not just American, I am pretty sure that is now the normal in the West. Family/kin, was still strong when I was a kid, but that collapsed in the 60’s. Despite all the patriarchy accusations, feminists actually attacked and ridiculed the warnings of grandmothers/great aunts — undermining the acquired hard earned wisdom that had actually curbed youthful excesses for generations.
In reality, a favourite great aunt took over raising my mother and her sisters when they were orphaned. And my grandparents and aunts helped raise our our family, and a dozen or more family members generally visited during holidays. Then my sister and us took in the kids of broken family members during holidays, so there was still some sense of kinship retained. But now?
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I remember that stupid sitcom Friends where Rachel was dating while being heavily pregnant. I was shocked by the idea. Why would any woman want to do that? It’s deranged. Shouldn’t women get a break from putting themselves on the sexual market at least while gestating? It was aggressively marketed as normal behavior but this is anything but normal.
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My own family has done this. It was uncontroversial, though when no parents are left alive, I think it is still unusual to have a situation where there are *no* relatives willing/able to assume custody.
It’s less common for other relatives to assume custody while the mother is still alive and not in jail, but we do know families who’ve done it: people who were raised by aunts, grandmothers, and even a great-grandmother, for various reasons including: mom was an addict, mom was a teenager, and mom didn’t like kids.
But there’s no established path/norm for family members to assume custody just because the mother has taken a new man. This works in Viet culture largely because men, while willing to marry a widow or divorcee, are emphatically NOT willing or expected to take on the woman’s kids. It’s considered an imposition. It is *only* Western men who, when they take up with a woman, are expected to take on her kids as a package deal. Many men are great stepdads and this works out. It’s a huge historical and geographic anomaly, and any caution applicable to kids + new man counts double for men from nonwhite cultures.
Sidenote: this creates an interesting incentive structure in VN when it comes to American expat men and the marriage market: they are basically stalked by widows with kids, because they know that if they can marry one, he won’t send the kids to their grandparents: he’ll expect to adopt them.
-ethyl
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methylethyl
Yeah, I always kind of wondered if it was just maybe a Scots and Scots/Irish clannish relict ;-D
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Hmm, I don’t know. Scots is my default cultural setting, so it is sometimes difficult to tease out “Scots” from just “American” or “working-class.” There’s some overlap 😉
-ethyl
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methylethyl
LOL, well, to quote Mick Dundee, “I knew you were tribal” ;-D
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