Speaking of local food delivery, every time I tell people that I found a local dude who grows and sells high-quality mushrooms, they misunderstand me completely.

Campus protesters are coming out to protest this horror in 3…2…1… Yes, I know, they will very pointedly not notice.

You know what I intensely envy the British? Especially the British from the past?

Milk floats.

We are a family of inveterate milk-guzzlers. It would be phenomenal to have a little vehicle come by each morning to remove empty bottles and leave fresh ones. I don’t like drinking out of plastic bottles and I definitely don’t appreciate trudging to the grocery store for milk that is probably old every 3 days.

There are delightful descriptions of milk floats making deliveries in British literature and I always feel deprived when I read them.

True. I didn’t get a dime back from my security deposit the last time I rented. There was a roof leak that I had reported to the rental company for months. Nothing was done. And when I moved out, the security deposit was withheld in full to… pay for fixing the roof leak. Which I obviously hadn’t caused.

I didn’t pursue any legal remedy over it because, as the long-time readers know, I was experiencing a terrible personal situation and couldn’t find it in me to face additional unpleasantness.

In my extensive renting experience, you are much more likely to get your security deposit back when you rent from an individual and not a company. N, for instance, had to break his rental agreement when he lost his job and was almost deported. He was renting from a regular guy who understood completely, was very supportive, and returned the deposit which he didn’t even have to do.

After 17 years of elaborate home-cooked meals, I’m badgering N to reveal every culinary dream of his that hasn’t yet been fulfilled. Finally, he comes up with one.

Swedish-style, mashed-potato-stuffed meatballs with homemade tzatziki sauce.

I think this dish will turn out divinely.

People, did you see? Terrible devastation in Iowa:

Police say there are “multiple deaths.”

Even after the destruction, it’s clear that this was a beautiful place. This is so sad.

There are really nice brands that are being developed in Ukraine. I’ll post some pictures and explain the meaning in a while. But for now, I want to mention that the ordering process is really cute. It’s not automatic. People very pointedly choose to not make it automatic. As a result, each time you want to order something, you end up engaged in a long dialogue where you end up exchanging your life stories and explaining what you are all about.

Yes, it’s not remotely as efficient as Amazon. And it’s never going to make that much money. But it’s kind of really homey and nice. There’s also zero upselling. Upselling is outdated and should be buried once and for all everywhere but in North America not everybody has gotten the message.

Today, it was announced on Russian TV that the President of Iran had been killed by a Mossad agent called “Eli Copter.” Russians found this information in a French news report. And relayed it to the public with all seriousness.

Mocking Russian news is low-hanging fruit but I can’t fail to mention such a huge translation guffaw. “Eli Copter” does sound vaguely Jewish, so it works.

For today’s event in my book tour that has an audience of over 100 people, I showed up in the same very original and noticeable blouse that I wore in my book trailer. The trailer was shown at the beginning of the event, and I’m sure now everybody is wondering why I never change my clothing.

This is embarrassing.

The next stop in the book tour is on Thursday, and I hope to God I don’t brain-glitch myself into an identical outfit again.

I tell everybody I like sausage but thankfully nobody has taken umbrage so far.

Speaking of food, I’ve spent a long day preparing the talk for my book tour, taking Klara from campus to orthodontist to kids’ gym, making okroshka, and unpacking, only to discover that Red Lobster is filing for bankruptcy. I love Red Lobster. I feel as aggrieved as the sushi professor from the story above but with more reason.