Clarissa's Blog

HUMAN ANATOMY

K: Anastacia finds out she is six to seven weeks pregnant, and witnesses her baby’s heartbeat on an ultrasound with help from her gynecologist. She’s later attacked by her fruit n’ nut bar of an ex-boss, who kicks her in the stomach. She is rushed to the hospital as a result, though none of the doctors seem to know that an average fetus at six to seven weeks is roughly the size of a lentil.

I’m sure it’s a ridiculously bad movie and I’d rather undergo minor surgery than watch it but the snark in this part of the review is utterly unjustified. I saw Klara’s heartbeat at 5 weeks. And that was 2 years and 8 months ago. I’m sure that the technology which allowed that has only grown more sophisticated. So what? I saw it, and it was the most wonderful thing I’d ever seen because Klara was very wanted. And yes, she was very tiny at that point, so there wasn’t much beyond the heartbeat. But it was there.

What I’m worried about, folks, is that 2018 and 2020 will be a replay of 2016. And when I see Democrats nominate people involved in ancient scandals or pronounce the word “chaos” (like in “the White House is so chaotic”) as if it were something bad, I fear that they have learned nothing. And I fear that they will come to the new elections with the same old candidates and the same antideluvian ideas of what works. This is not even about losing. What if they win, and it’s the same old crap as usual?

Running Blagojevich’s buddy for governor of Illinois, you’ve got to be kidding me. The first election in my entire life that I’ll be able to vote in, and this is who I got to vote for?

Besides, Pritzker was all buddy-buddy with Blagojevich, and here in Illinois Blagojevich is political poison. You can’t be a successful candidate for governor while tapes of you making racist comments in backroom dealings with Blagojevich are available to everyone.

I find unbelievable that anybody would consider nominating this idiot.

I turned on the Dr Phil show and saw something like a segment about an elderly couple being swindled by a slick, fat con man. I wondered what suddenly happened to the show’s team to make the footage so amateurish and fake.

And then I realized it was an ad for Pritzker, our biggest hope to defeat Rauner.

February is the best month because that’s when mystery authors release their new books. A new John Lescroart! A new Lisa Gardner! A new Jonathan Kellerman! Even a new Elizabeth George!

Who needs work, anyway?

I tried reading Spanish mysteries but there is truly nothing worse. As much as I love Spanish-language literature, I can’t stand mysteries in Spanish. They are all so painfully pompous.

It’s interesting that people hear “he is successful” and immediately interpret it as “he is a good human being.” Like when I was desperate to find proof that the successful academics I admire are good human beings with an admirable moral compass. It’s an effect of the neoliberal worldview that positions the source of success inside human beings. If you are not successful, tells us this ideology, that is because you are a faulty human being. something is not right with you.

It’s silly that people are acting so stunned by the fluidity of Trump’s team. He’s extremely successful in business – and yes, he is, in spite of the lower-middle-class terrors around the word “bankruptcy” – and you can’t do that without being comfortable with fluidity. It’s not like letting go of people easily is any worse than holding on to all kinds of severely compromised folks like Hillary does.

Also, here is what I don’t understand in this educational system. Why are kids constantly moved into new classrooms, with new teachers, and new kids? Klara has been at this daycare for only 15 months, but she’s already going into her fourth classroom, with the fourth set of teachers. Is it just this daycare, or is it the same everywhere?

It’s so bizarre because the most important thing for small kids is stability, predictability, and absence of chaos. And this way, chaos is generated purposefully. What is the pedagogic rationale behind this? Does anyone know? It’s surely not because it’s more convenient for the teachers because it’s clearly not.

Another thing I wonder if there is any stability in terms of class composition in actual school. Where I come from, you enter school at 7 and stay until you are 17. Unless you are switching schools, you will stay with the same kids for those ten years, growing up together and making lifelong friends. There is one teacher for the first 3 years who teaches all of the subjects. And after that, you get different teachers for different subjects but a single lead teacher who is there and who knows you until you graduate.

What is the system like here? Is there any permanence that is fostered at school? Or is it constant musical chairs like at the daycare?

I brought Klara to daycare today, and immediately she’s surrounded by friends, showing off her dress, telling them about her dance lesson yesterday. I’m trying to say goodbye, and she whispers, “Go away, mommy, go away,” and even tries to button my coat to speed up my departure because I’m cramping her style in front of the friends.

It’s an amazing feeling.

Tomorrow I’m going to undertake a real cooking adventure. I will cook tofu. I mean, I loved it both times I tried it. But nobody’s been offering to feed it to me for a while, and I’m tired of stalking vegetarians with a dejected “I’m so hungry” look. Especially since they try to be nice and give me chicken.

I’m completely clueless about tofu. I’m so clueless, it took me a month actually to find it at the grocery store. I mean, what kind of a perverted mind would guess it’s hiding in the yogurt section?

It’s not like foix gras, is it? It doesn’t melt in the pan, right?