Because they look like sumo fighters.

Delicious, by the way.

“Why does everybody say that youth is the best time of one’s life and that being young is amazing? I’m young but I don’t feel amazing at all.”

“That’s because everything that comes after is even worse.”

_______________________________

If you are over the age of thirty and you have achieved absolutely nothing in life, this means you are a good, honest human being.

_______________________________

A boy who spent his childhood browsing websites was shocked when he went outside and saw fully clothed women.

________________________________

“When I get drunk, I fear nobody!”

“Not even your wife?”

“Man, I never managed to get that drunk!”

______________________________

Our enemies are very stupid. They think we are the enemy when, in reality, they are the enemy.

_____________________________

And finally, the clearest answer to the question of why Russians hate Americans so much:

Just got an email that classes are cancelled all day tomorrow. I didn’t have to go in but I’m still happy because this means we are finally getting some snow. The forecast promises 7 inches.

We are now on the way to get firewood and oranges.

The Muslims of Moscow are proposing to name a mosque after Putin.

If you want to figure out who the victim and the victimizer are in any conflict, find somebody who belongs to the Eastern Orthodox Church. He will automatically support the victimizer in absolutely any circumstances and you will be able to make sense of the conflict.

I’m getting very tired of the myth that Putin is somehow irrational, crazy, or sick.

 

Putin’s “irrational” actions have given him the kinds of approval ratings that Obama and Hollande couldn’t even dream of, greatly strengthened his regime, expanded his country’s territory, and made millions around the world worship him as a proponent of an alternative to modernity.

Yes, Putin’s supporters are brain-dead freaks. Yes, he is only loved in Russia because Russians are isolated and misinformed. Yes, there is no alternative to modernity and it’s better to recognize that sooner rather than later. But exploiting the fears and the inadequacies of modernity’s outcasts is not irrational. It’s the exact opposite. 

We actually discussed “systemic injustices” and “societal oppressions” in class last week. My students are firmly and passionately convinced that the way your life turns out depends entirely on your own effort and hard work. I tried to play the devil’s advocate and suggest ways to challenge this position but the students rejected my arguments with indignation.

“You are all so American,” I commented.
My students’ shared stance is not only a sign of robust psychological health but also an explanation for the insanely high standard of living in this country.

I left the classroom feeling proud and content. The world belongs to such people.

The Friday Facebook Fiasco proved one thing: it’s a mistake to betray one’s principles. I always knew that people who attribute their persistent personal problems to “objective historical factors,” “systemic injustices,”  and “societal causes” should be avoided. Maybe one day they will choose to let go of this infantile position. Before that happens, however, it’s best to keep them as far as possible from oneself.

I knew all this, yet I departed from my own golden rule. And it ended badly. Serves me right.

People on Facebook are cruelly mocking parents of stillborn babies. I’m quietly scrolling down my feed and suddenly come across this really savage ridicule of people who are mourning the death of their children. 

I wonder what the thought process here was. “Hey, I have some free time. Why not poke fun at grieving parents? Ha ha, those sorry losers!”?

And here I thought this day couldn’t get any worse.

Forget the text, just look at the images. This is my mother’s village.

Fucking Russian swine.