The Best Line Ever About Petraeus

OK, this is totally the best line I read anywhere about the Petraeus affair:

Petraeus. Broadwell. Kelley. Allen. Love triangle . . . quadrangle. Whatever. Except. It’s not. A “love” whatever. Let’s acknowledge all the people we know for sure have been hurt so far: betrayed spouses and children; extended family; friends and colleagues, even neighbors.

When I imagined those betrayed and hurt neighbors, I almost fell over with laughter. Just picture a burly 50-year-old neighbor approaching Petraeus and telling him in a wounded voice that oozes reproach: “I always thought that if you were going to screw somebody on the side, you’d pick me. We have such a tight-knit community, yet you have to go and fuck this outsider. I always knew you were a loser, ever since your dog peed on my lawn.”

Betrayed children also sound funny in this context. Has there been any new development where Petraeus officially repudiated his own children and adopted Broadwell’s kids instead?

Read the rest of the linked article for an example of terrifying prudery.

20 thoughts on “The Best Line Ever About Petraeus

  1. Your scorn is completely misplaced. Suppose that N were to enter into an affair with someone much younger than you, at a time when you have children. Would you not feel that N had betrayed you? Would your children not wonder whether they had played a role in N’s behavior? Would you hold firm to the line that N acted out of love for his paramour and that he had harmed you and his children in no way. Would you continue to hold to this if N deserted your home and started afresh with his young paramour?

    Surely that is not how I view life and relationships that are based on trust and on an expectation that marriage contracts and vows will be honored. Of course, the situation is different for those who simply cohabit. They have made no promises to disavow or dishonor and no one should feel betrayed by their wanderings.

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    1. When we have children, I hope that we will be able to instill in them the idea that our sex life has absolutely nothing to do with them and their self-worth. Perceiving a parent’s sex life as an insult to yourself is a sign of deep-seated psychological problems that have to be addresse with a specialist.

      When one feels betrayed by a neighbor’s sexual escapades, not even a team of specialists will be able to help, I’m afraid. 🙂

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  2. Actually my favorite line is “Does a bear save it for the Port-a-Potty?” I mean, I just… I weep for the state of education in my country, that’s all.

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  3. “Has there been any new development where Petraeus officially repudiated his own children and adopted Broadwell’s kids instead?”

    I read that as totally not funny and about Broadwell’s children who will almost certainly suffer from the probable coming divorce and reduced parental presence, along with the humiliation and hostility their age peers are/will be most certainly showering them with.

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      1. How do you the marriage was ‘like that’ before she chose to betray her husband (and children)? It’s possible that if she didn’t betray them with Petraeus she would have with some other guy or maybe she would have kept her underwear on around men who weren’t her husband and been a better person.

        Petraeus didn’t necessarily betray his (much older) children as much beyond the idea that most likely he hurt his wife, their mother. If he has grandkids then the whole thing is going to creep them out too (and possibly expose them to bullying).

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        1. The greatest betrayal to children is a parent who doesn’t live her or his sexuality freely, not the parent who does. So I don’t understand this concept of her betraying her children with Petraeus. A sexually fulfilled parent is the greatest gift a child can get because it sets the stage for that child own eventual sexual happiness and fulfillment.

          “It’s possible that if she didn’t betray them with Petraeus she would have with some other guy or maybe she would have kept her underwear on around men who weren’t her husband and been a better person.”

          – Better person means sexually repressed and miserable one? Who exactly is made happier by having a sexually unfulfileld parent?

          “If he has grandkids then the whole thing is going to creep them out too (and possibly expose them to bullying).”

          – We all know my position on bullying and what you say is most certainly not it. 🙂

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  4. It is not the sex life that affects the child. Rather it is why one parent leaves the home. Did I do something wrong Mummy that caused Daddy to leave us? That is a very frequent and very sad question. And yes, sometimes the answer is positive. Daddy did not like being tied down by children. So sexual betrayal of one partner by another can have wider consequences that are not evidence of psychiatric problems on the part of the child.

    Self-seeking sexual gratification is not simply a matter for the two adults involved. Third parties do get hurt, and sometimes seriously. And marital vows are meaningful, even in a secular society, unless one accepts that human beings are simply animals on a par with the rest of the (which of course many do).
    General Petraeous: ‘I could not help myself. I am after all just a chimpanzee. See, i am masturbating now while giving evidence before the Senate Intelligence Oversight Committee

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    1. “It is not the sex life that affects the child. Rather it is why one parent leaves the home.”

      – I’m guessing that Petraeus’s children are old enough to be out of the house a long time ago.

      “Did I do something wrong Mummy that caused Daddy to leave us?

      – If they are 3, then sure enough. But is it possible that Petraeus has such tiny children?

      “Daddy did not like being tied down by children.”

      – Then how did those children even come into existence?

      “General Petraeous: ‘I could not help myself. I am after all just a chimpanzee. See, i am masturbating now while giving evidence before the Senate Intelligence Oversight Committee”

      – 🙂 🙂 🙂

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  5. The traditional Christian line is that love is something hard to maintain against the tide of one’s natural tendencies, which are sinful. If one gives in to natural inclinations, one will lose all inhibition, start destroying things around and throwing one’s poo. This would of course be damaging to those who are weak and vulnerable.

    If you’re interested in my cultural history, take a listen here.

    http://www.thenewrbc.com/pages/music/tp1.html

    Have a particular listen to track eleven. Here the sacrifice of the lives of adult males is justified on behalf of the next generations.

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    1. That was the music I grew up with and why I drew the conclusion that all adult males were quintessentially heroic (they were, all of them, in the war).

      Then I encountered, these,,,like, Internet fiends, and they taught me to think differently about their gender.

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      1. And this sacrifice motif, which permeated my early life, was why I came to feel so guilty as an adult. And then moronic liberals and right wingers would say: “You must be pretty evil to feel so guilty!”

        No. Idiots. It was because people sacrificed for me.

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        1. “And this sacrifice motif, which permeated my early life, was why I came to feel so guilty as an adult. And then moronic liberals and right wingers would say: “You must be pretty evil to feel so guilty!”

          No. Idiots. It was because people sacrificed for me.”

          – This is SO true. Guilt is something that these fake sacrifices are aimed at fostering. And the only purpose is to enslave you.

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          1. Unfortunately, the sacrifices these guys made on my behalf were real, in the sense that they, the sacrificers, believed in them.

            I believe Alexandra Fuller’s book Scribbling the Cat, tries to make sense of this.

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              1. That kind of music is called “troopie songs”, but I don’t know what its exact influences are. There’s probably an African beat in there somewhere. It’s all about sacrifice & soldiering. You see, the men grow up and become sacrifices in the war, for freedom, but this assures the safety of the land for the next generation. That was me. Or supposed to be me. But it all went wrong, and the war was lost. So then I had to deal with the guilt of the pointless sacrifices, and my father’s madness, which was also the result of the pointless sacrifices, and my own being on the brink of madness, because I didn’t know which way to turn.

                So then, I began to write, and people said, “It’s all about the ego and the individual.”

                But I couldn’t see “the individual” in my writing — only the sacrifices and myself about to go mad.

                So it just goes to show.

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