Day: October 1, 2011

Why “Male Privilege List” Is Garbage, Part II

~ Clarissa ~ 31 Comments

Now let’s look at some of the statements on “The Male Privilege List” in greater detail. I will respond to them in terms of my “female privilege.”

4. If I fail in my job or career, I can feel sure this won’t be seen as a black mark against my entire sex’s capabilities.

If I fail in my job or career or end up with no job or career whatsoever this will have absolutely no impact on my gender identity. Even though I am passionately invested in my career and adore my job, losing them will never make feel like I’m not woman enough.

6. If I do the same task as a woman, and if the measurement is at all subjective, chances are people will think I did a better job.

Any task? What about learning languages? Being organized and responsible in school? Cooking? Communicating with people? Being emotionally competent? Raising children? In a sexist world, all these and many many other tasks are the exclusive purview of women.

9. If I choose not to have children, my masculinity will not be called into question.

Seriously? Since when? I can’t even count the number of times I heard jokes about men who have or haven’t been able to “prove their masculinity” by getting their female partners pregnant. I know a man who told all and sundry that he managed to get his wife pregnant on their wedding night with the kind of pride that was so intense as to be scary.

10. If I have children but do not provide primary care for them, my masculinity will not be called into question.

But if a man fails to provide for them financially, it absolutely will be called into question. And a lot.

11. If I have children and provide primary care for them, I’ll be praised for extraordinary parenting if I’m even marginally competent. (More).

Not true. Actually, what is much more likely is that a father who stays at home with children will have his masculinity questioned.

12. If I have children and a career, no one will think I’m selfish for not staying at home.

But if a man has any number of children and no career, he will be ridiculed in ways no woman ever will.

13. If I seek political office, my relationship with my children, or who I hire to take care of them, will probably not be scrutinized by the press.

If a man seeks political office, everybody will take it in their stride that he has a wife whose mission in life is to assist him. Nobody will make fun of the arrangement. Don’t believe me? Look at the way Todd Palin is ridiculed for not making as much money as Sarah Palin.

16. As a child, chances are I was encouraged to be more active and outgoing than my sisters. (More).

This is a wild generalization. All families are different. As an Aspie child, I was persecuted by people who tried to make me “more active and outgoing.” These attributes have nothing to do with gender, so I’m not even sure what they are doing on this list.

17. As a child, I could choose from an almost infinite variety of children’s media featuring positive, active, non-stereotyped heroes of my own sex. I never had to look for it; male protagonists were (and are) the default.

I don’t know when the author’s childhood happened, but if you turn on the television today, you will see as many images of men who are either bumbling, inept fools or violent criminals as you can possibly stomach.

19. If my day, week or year is going badly, I need not ask of each negative episode or situation whether or not it has sexist overtones.

I actually think you do, whether you are a man or a woman.

20. I can turn on the television or glance at the front page of the newspaper and see people of my own sex widely represented.

Where are all these TV shows that refuse to feature women? Can anybody think of a single night of scheduled TV programming where no or almost no women appear on the screen? Unless you limit your TV watching to the Stanley Cup, then I fail to see how you manage to miss all those female folks on television.

21. If I’m careless with my financial affairs it won’t be attributed to my sex.

If I, as a woman, mess up financially, I can always get a man to help me out. And nobody will question that or ridicule the arrangement. When I mention to people that my husband helps me out financially, they always say, “Oh, that’s great!” When I mention that I supported my ex-husband financially, they always say, “Oh, what a jerk and a total deadbeat!” Incidentally, what are the female versions of “jerk” and “deadbeat”?

23. I can speak in public to a large group without putting my sex on trial.

I speak in public to small, medium-sized and large groups on a regular basis. I dig it, to be honest. Not a single time did I feel that my sex was an issue of any kind. Now, of course, I will hear that I’m simply oblivious because of my autism.

24. Even if I sleep with a lot of women, there is no chance that I will be seriously labeled a “slut,” nor is there any male counterpart to “slut-bashing.” (More).

However, if a man is sexually unsuccessful and doesn’t manage to sleep with anybody, his prestige among his peers will be extremely low. In terms of getting access to sex, a man often has to prove his worthiness by courting a woman, waiting until “she is ready”, satisfying her or prepare to be ridiculed or rejected. As a woman, all I had to do to meet men was go to a public place and sit there. Or stand. Or walk around. It was up to men to find the courage to initiate the conversation and prepare for many rejections until a woman finally agreed to hear them out. Have you tried approaching people you like and striking up a conversation? Unless you are extremely confident and secure, this might be very daunting.

26. My clothing is typically less expensive and better-constructed than women’s clothing for the same social status. While I have fewer options, my clothes will probably fit better than a woman’s without tailoring. (More).

I don’t know where the author of this list does his shopping. Maybe I should ask him for some pointers. I’ve accompanied N. on quite a few shopping trips for clothing and I have to tell you, it’s incredibly harder to find anything for a man. Less expensive? I can find a killer dress for under $30 in matter of minutes. Try to buy a man’s outfit (mind you, you’ll need something to cover his entire body) for this amount that does not look cheap, isn’t extremely scratchy, and will not disintegrate after the first wash. And have you tried buying gifts for men? Can you honestly tell me that it’s harder to find a gift for a woman than it is for a man?

27. The grooming regimen expected of me is relatively cheap and consumes little time. (More).

Unless, of course, you are a man who works in a corporate environment and needs to shave twice a day.

29. If I’m not conventionally attractive, the disadvantages are relatively small and easy to ignore.

Just tell it to a man who hasn’t had a date in five years. Loneliness and constant rejection must be so totally easy to ignore.

30. I can be loud with no fear of being called a shrew. I can be aggressive with no fear of being called a bitch.

But you might be called a creep, a potential rapist, a jerk, and many other nice, endearing things.

31. I can ask for legal protection from violence that happens mostly to men without being seen as a selfish special interest, since that kind of violence is called “crime” and is a general social concern. (Violence that happens mostly to women is usually called “domestic violence” or “acquaintance rape,” and is seen as a special interest issue.)

How about sexual abuse of minors by teachers? When a 14-year-old boy is raped by his female teacher, lots of extenuating circumstances immediately crop up. When a male teacher rapes a 14-year-old girl, consequences are a lot more dire.

34. I will never be expected to change my name upon marriage or questioned if I don’t change my name.

When I blogged about name-change as being unfeminist, crowds of people descended on my blog to excoriate me for my position. Strangely enough, the absolute majority of these folks were women. So I really have to wonder who is truly invested in this name changing and for what reasons.

37. Most major religions argue that I should be the head of my household, while my wife and children should be subservient to me.

I guess Christianity is not a major religion, then. It’s either that or I invented the story about this guy Jesus who defended an adulterous woman and made her his disciple instead of sending her back to her male head of household to be all subservient to him.

38. If I have a wife or live-in girlfriend, chances are we’ll divide up household chores so that she does most of the labor, and in particular the most repetitive and unrewarding tasks. (More).

Also, chances are that you will end up expected (by both of you) to carry the brunt of financial burden for the family. Seriously, what’s harder: heating up a pizza in a microwave or confronting a bunch of bills every month?

39. If I have children with my girlfriend or wife, I can expect her to do most of the basic childcare such as changing diapers and feeding.

You can also expect to lose custody in the divorce proceedings and have to accept only seeing your kids once a week. If you are very lucky, that is.

42. In general, I am under much less pressure to be thin than my female counterparts are. (More). If I am fat, I probably suffer fewer social and economic consequences for being fat than fat women do. (More).

Once again, I have to wonder if all those recent articles making fun of Chris Christie for being fat are a figment of my diseased imagination.

43. If I am heterosexual, it’s incredibly unlikely that I’ll ever be beaten up by a spouse or lover. (More).

Now, let’s not exaggerate. It is less likely you will be beaten up by a woman. But not “incredibly unlikely.” This is simply not true.

45. On average, I am not interrupted by women as often as women are interrupted by men.

Yes, what a huge tragedy. Getting interrupted, that must be such a burden. Of course, if you get shot in the back by your wife while you are asleep, she will be released almost immediately. If you shoot her in the back, you probably will not.

46. I have the privilege of being unaware of my male privilege.

I’m a woman and I also have the privilege of being unaware of any male privilege that exists in some sort of vacuum, unaccompanied by great female privilege. Once again, a sexist system oppresses us all. But it also offers us all something in return for the oppression. Any discussion of who is “more privileged” under the system of gender stereotypes is futile. We are wasting our time compiling such lists, people. All of these endless arguments whose only goal is to arrive at a conclusion as to whether men or women suffer more because of sexism lead nowhere. Can’t we just agree that we all suffer from it and start moving along towards subverting this system?

“Gender wars” are a sine qua non of sexism. Lists like this one promote the idea that one gender is constantly aggrieved and victimized by the other. The reality we live in is surely sexist. It is not, however, nearly as sexist as this list.

Sorry for such a long post.

Violence Against Women Awareness Month in the Indian Blogosphere

~ Clarissa ~ 4 Comments

Fellow blogger Priyanka asked me to participate in getting the word out about the Violence Against Women Awareness activism she participates in and invites us all to join. October has been designated the Violence Against Women Awareness month in the Indian blogosphere. I think we should support women of the subcontinent by heading over to Priyanka’s blog, reading her posts on this subject, and joining our voices to those of people who are speaking out against violence in the subcontinent and everywhere else in the world:

 This month is a symbolic time for women, especially subcontinental women (hopefully, across all subcontinental religions). We are the inheritors of immense power, love, authority and fulfilment. And yet, we are routinely beaten, groped, raped, bought wholesale, and sold short. Even in great love, we don’t always find equality or respect. Reacting to the barrage of casual sexist insults immediately marks us out as hysterical, violent, privilege-stealing feminazis, with no sense of humour.

The Violence Against Women Month is not meant to address such condemnations. We’ve realised converting the last nay-sayer and mocker is a waste of our already-stretched energy, because they detract on principle. Instead, we choose this month to focus on ourselves: share our stories, find empathy where we least expected it, feel reassured that we are not alone. And make use of the resources, assert ourselves, raise our voices, demand safety, demand respect, demand happiness.

I’m not from the subcontinent but I think I will join this important action by writing a post on violence against women in my culture. If you have stories, posts or articles to share on the subject, head over to Priyanka’s blog.

I’ve made this post sticky, so scroll down for new posts.

Why “Male Privilege List” Is Garbage, Part I

~ Clarissa ~ 35 Comments

I’m sorry, everybody, this list is long, so the post will end up being even longer. My apologies for that. Here is “The Male Privilege List” that has been making rounds on the blogs I follow. We all know how I love the word “privilege”, so I had to address this list.

Before we begin, glance over the list and look at the parts I put in bold type and underlined. What do they have in common?

The Male Privilege Checklist

1. My odds of being hired for a job, when competing against female applicants, are probably skewed in my favor. The more prestigious the job, the larger the odds are skewed.

2. I can be confident that my co-workers won’t think I got my job because of my sex – even though that might be true. (More).

3. If I am never promoted, it’s not because of my sex.

4. If I fail in my job or career, I can feel sure this won’t be seen as a black mark against my entire sex’s capabilities.

5. I am far less likely to face sexual harassment at work than my female co-workers are. (More).

6. If I do the same task as a woman, and if the measurement is at all subjective, chances are people will think I did a better job.

7. If I’m a teen or adult, and if I can stay out of prison, my odds of being raped are relatively low. (More).

8. On average, I am taught to fear walking alone after dark in average public spaces much less than my female counterparts are.

9. If I choose not to have children, my masculinity will not be called into question.

10. If I have children but do not provide primary care for them, my masculinity will not be called into question.

11. If I have children and provide primary care for them, I’ll be praised for extraordinary parenting if I’m even marginally competent. (More).

12. If I have children and a career, no one will think I’m selfish for not staying at home.

13. If I seek political office, my relationship with my children, or who I hire to take care of them, will probably not be scrutinized by the press.

14. My elected representatives are mostly people of my own sex. The more prestigious and powerful the elected position, the more this is true.

15. When I ask to see “the person in charge,” odds are I will face a person of my own sex. The higher-up in the organization the person is, the surer I can be.

16. As a child, chances are I was encouraged to be more active and outgoing than my sisters. (More).

17. As a child, I could choose from an almost infinite variety of children’s media featuring positive, active, non-stereotyped heroes of my own sex. I never had to look for it; male protagonists were (and are) the default.

18. As a child, chances are I got more teacher attention than girls who raised their hands just as often. (More).

19. If my day, week or year is going badly, I need not ask of each negative episode or situation whether or not it has sexist overtones.

20. I can turn on the television or glance at the front page of the newspaper and see people of my own sex widely represented.

21. If I’m careless with my financial affairs it won’t be attributed to my sex.

22. If I’m careless with my driving it won’t be attributed to my sex.

23. I can speak in public to a large group without putting my sex on trial.

24. Even if I sleep with a lot of women, there is no chance that I will be seriously labeled a “slut,” nor is there any male counterpart to “slut-bashing.” (More).

25. I do not have to worry about the message my wardrobe sends about my sexual availability. (More).

26. My clothing is typically less expensive and better-constructed than women’s clothing for the same social status. While I have fewer options, my clothes will probably fit better than a woman’s without tailoring. (More).

27. The grooming regimen expected of me is relatively cheap and consumes little time. (More).

28. If I buy a new car, chances are I’ll be offered a better price than a woman buying the same car. (More).

29. If I’m not conventionally attractive, the disadvantages are relatively small and easy to ignore.

30. I can be loud with no fear of being called a shrew. I can be aggressive with no fear of being called a bitch.

31. I can ask for legal protection from violence that happens mostly to men without being seen as a selfish special interest, since that kind of violence is called “crime” and is a general social concern. (Violence that happens mostly to women is usually called “domestic violence” or “acquaintance rape,” and is seen as a special interest issue.)

32. I can be confident that the ordinary language of day-to-day existence will always include my sex. “All men are created equal,” mailman, chairman, freshman, he.

33. My ability to make important decisions and my capability in general will never be questioned depending on what time of the month it is.

34. I will never be expected to change my name upon marriage or questioned if I don’t change my name.

35. The decision to hire me will not be based on assumptions about whether or not I might choose to have a family sometime soon.

36. Every major religion in the world is led primarily by people of my own sex. Even God, in most major religions, is pictured as male.

37. Most major religions argue that I should be the head of my household, while my wife and children should be subservient to me.

38. If I have a wife or live-in girlfriend, chances are we’ll divide up household chores so that she does most of the labor, and in particular the most repetitive and unrewarding tasks. (More).

39. If I have children with my girlfriend or wife, I can expect her to do most of the basic childcare such as changing diapers and feeding.

40. If I have children with my wife or girlfriend, and it turns out that one of us needs to make career sacrifices to raise the kids, chances are we’ll both assume the career sacrificed should be hers.

41. Assuming I am heterosexual, magazines, billboards, television, movies, pornography, and virtually all of media is filled with images of scantily-clad women intended to appeal to me sexually. Such images of men exist, but are rarer.

42. In general, I am under much less pressure to be thin than my female counterparts are. (More). If I am fat, I probably suffer fewer social and economic consequences for being fat than fat women do. (More).

43. If I am heterosexual, it’s incredibly unlikely that I’ll ever be beaten up by a spouse or lover. (More).

44. Complete strangers generally do not walk up to me on the street and tell me to “smile.” (More: 12).

45. Sexual harassment on the street virtually never happens to me. I do not need to plot my movements through public space in order to avoid being sexually harassed, or to mitigate sexual harassment. (More.)

45. On average, I am not interrupted by women as often as women are interrupted by men.

46. I have the privilege of being unaware of my male privilege.

What do all the bold-typed underlined parts have in common? Yes, right you are, our old and trusty friend, the passive voice. Whenever you see a text where passive voice is used in 21 out of 46 sentences (almost half the time, that is), you have to start getting suspicious. Why is there such a reluctance in this text to name the active agent? Who is this evil person or a nasty group of individuals that does all this seeing, teaching, calling, praising, scrutinizing, encouraging, attributing, labeling, expecting, and picturing?

This reluctance to avoid stating who imposes and maintains these sexist stereotypes clumsily attempts to obscure a reality that the very existence of this list wants to negate: men and women participate equally in seeing, teaching, calling, praising, etc. Men and women gain equally from the sexist system they help to keep in place. At the same time, they are equally oppressed by this sexist reality in return for the benefits they equally receive from it.

Now, please turn your attention to the parts of the text that are italicized and underlined. What do they have in common? Yes, exactly, they all make reference to what people might think. This kind of mind-reading has a very simple name to it: projection. Whenever I fear that everybody thinks I’m stupid (boring, fat, ugly, etc.), this has absolutely nothing whatsoever with what other people actually think. People in general very very rarely dedicated any time at all to thinking about others. These thoughts I attribute to people around me are nothing but my own beliefs that I project onto others.

My suggestion to those who worry incessantly about what others think about them is to turn attention to themselves. Nobody thinks all this stuff about you, my friend. You are the one doing all this thinking. And you can choose to stop at any time.

In the second part of this post, I will address some of the statements on this list in more detail.

Who Heard of This Buenos Aires Place?

~ Clarissa ~ 13 Comments

I’m sorry for all these teaching-related stories but I’m always afraid that if I don’t record them, I’ll forget them. On a difficult day, I enjoy reading old posts and chuckling over these funny incidents.

Me: So where are culture and civilization located in Argentina according to Sarmiento?

Student: Oh, he says they are located in this. . . erm. . . whatchamacallit. . . erm. . . Barraba. . .  Bubarra. . . Babarra. . .

Me: Buenos Aires.

Student: Yes, that!

Why Do People Move Their Blogs to Chronicle of Higher Ed?

~ Clarissa ~ 2 Comments

Bloggers I follow keep moving their blogs to the Chronicle network, and that kind of upsets me. I don’t like the format, it’s confusing and annoying. Also, I have a feeling that blogs lose a lot in terms of quality once they move there.

Take Tenured Radical, for example. I disagreed with most of what she wrote but at least her posts were always interesting, controversial, engaging, and fun. After she moved to the Chronicle, everything she writes has become bland, sanitized, and utterly boring. So I stopped following. (Read this post on students with autism, for example. There is just no substance to it. I have no idea what the blogger was even trying to say.)

Now another blogger I used to follow is moving to the network, and I will be dropping that blog, too.

Why are people doing this? For prestige? Popularity? Do they put this on their merit review, or something?

Why Medvedev?

~ Clarissa ~ 14 Comments

Why was Dmitri Medvedev chosen by Vladimir Putin 4 years ago to serve as a puppet President? This is a question many people are asking. Medvedev was not known to anybody, had a zero recognition rate among the people of his country, had no leadership skills or experience. He was just an insignificant, lower-level bureuacrat which are a dime a dozen in any country. How was this guy even chosen for the role of Russia’s president?

I have an explanation, and, as weird as it will sound, I believe it is the only one that makes sense.

Putin is a very self-centered, insecure guy with an inferiority complex of enormous proportions. He is also much shorter than an average Russian male. While the average male height among Russian men (not the men of the Russian Federation, mind you, but ethnic Russians) is 6’1, Putin is only 5  feet 5 inches tall. This is quite rare among men in his country.

I don’t think that Putin’s ego would have been able to withstand appearing in public next to a guy who’d tower over him. Putin has become notorious for coming up with devious ways of avoiding being filmed standing next to taller people. So he chose Medvedev, a political nobody, whose one great quality is that he is only 5 feet 2 inches tall.