How to Argue With Autistics

1. If an autistic presents a logical argument that appeals to reason, say “You are just saying this because you are autistic. We all know you guys are incapable of empathy and your emotional range is limited.”

2. If an autistic appeals to emotions and shares what s/he feels about certain things, say “You are just reacting like this because you are autistic. Certain things that are easy for the regular people are very hard for you, which is why you get so emotional about this.”

3. Whenever an autistic says something you dislike, share a story of an autistic you met (or your friend’s neighbor’s acquaintance met) who was a total jerk.

4. If the preceding piece of advice doesn’t manage to shut the pesky autistic up, share with him or her a bit of wisdom about autism you gleaned from an article you read (or yourย acquaintance’s sister’s girlfriend read and told you about).

5. Never miss an opportunity to explain to an autistic what autism is really all about.


13 thoughts on “How to Argue With Autistics

  1. I believe the underlying logic to not accepting or appreciating difference is as follows:

    1. Everyone wants and needs to be the same as everyone else, in order to compete under Capitalism.

    2. If you are not the same, you are a narcissist who wants to draw attention to herself.

    3. It is very important for others to bring you down a peg or two so that you can become the same as everyone else. (Nobody has any more right to be a revolutionary new brand of soap powder than anybody else!)


  2. In vague relation to what I stated above about the seemingly “revolutionary” (in the Capitalist sense) potential of deviation from the norm, I bring you the following quote from a short running comedy series in Australia:

    :Jen Okazaki
    Jen Okazaki is a softly spoken Japanese wife and mother of three, who moved with her family from Japan to Santa Barbara, California in the United States for a better life. She focuses mainly on her son Tim Okazaki to become a skateboarding champion. She decides that Tim’s career can be better promoted from Tokyo, so she moves with the family back to Japan. Jen markets him not only as a cute Japanese boy, but also as a homosexual. She owns a successful empire shaped around Tim’s skateboarding success called, “GayStyle Enterprises”, in which she sells penis-shaped whistles, perfume dispensers, water bottles, and scrubbing brushes.
    During the show, Jen takes Tim to see the doctors, and finds out that he is overworked and depressed. She tries to get Tim more relaxed and decides to take some of his responsibilities. She also gets Tim a dog named Gay Dog, which she claims is “the first ever gay dog”. Jen wants Tim to become best friends with the dog and to teach it how to skate. Later on the show, Tim reveals to his fans on his website that he is straight and has a girlfriend, with whom he has been having a relationship with secretly for several months. Much to Jen’s anger, she later runs away from home, and leaves a note behind mentioning that she will kill herself and Gay Dog if Tim doesn’t reclaim he is gay. Jen is later dumped as Tim’s manager, and is replaced by Bruce (Billy Loh). They move back to Santa Barbara, California, and lives in a separate house from Tim. She does not enjoy the suburban lifestyle and hates being a household mum. Never to be defeated, Jen begins training her second son, Luke, to become the next golfing superstar.”


  3. 3-5a. If necessary, use an anecdote from someone who hasn’t disclosed an autism diagnosis to you but who you believe must be autistic because of [insert characteristic here, the more random and trivial, the better]. Your armchair diagnosis will be given all the consideration it deserves.


    1. Oh, yes!

      I also like questions of the “You are an autistic and I think my friends is, too. She does XYZ. Is she autistic?” variety. If the friend didn’t seek a diagnosis, how come you are doing it on her behalf? When or if she wants to consult a professional on this issue, she will.


  4. I thought you were really gonna tell us! ๐Ÿ˜›

    i.e. “how to be smarter than the world’s smartest people who always have an intelligent and thoroughly-sensible answer for everything”… I could use a few pointers in my personal life, okay? ๐Ÿ˜‰


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