I feel completely exhausted, people. My sister’s baby is sick, so she doesn’t sleep. And when my sister doesn’t sleep in Montreal, I don’t sleep in Illinois because our bodies are finely attuned to each other. I feel like a herd of wild horses has trampled on me.
This has made me so completely out of it that I just approached the cashier at our university restaurant and instead of paying for my lunch, said:
“Can I have a big bottle of Captain Morgan’s Spiced Rum?”
Now, the last thing I want right now is alcohol. The mere idea of it makes me nauseous. I just want to teach my last class and go home. So I have no idea why I tried buying rum on campus. A big bottle, too.
The cashier gave me a funny look when I did that.
“I’ve been meaning to ask,” she said, “what country are you from?”
I considered lying but I plan to work at this university for years to come which made lying impossible.
So I just confirmed a stereotype that Russians can’t get through the day without a liter of booze.