Captain Morgan’s

I feel completely exhausted, people. My sister’s baby is sick, so she doesn’t sleep. And when my sister doesn’t sleep in Montreal, I don’t sleep in Illinois because our bodies are finely attuned to each other. I feel like a herd of wild horses has trampled on me.

This has made me so completely out of it that I just approached the cashier at our university restaurant and instead of paying for my lunch, said:

“Can I have a big bottle of Captain Morgan’s Spiced Rum?”

Now, the last thing I want right now is alcohol. The mere idea of it makes me nauseous. I just want to teach my last class and go home. So I have no idea why I tried buying rum on campus. A big bottle, too.

The cashier gave me a funny look when I did that.

“I’ve been meaning to ask,” she said, “what country are you from?”

I considered lying but I plan to work at this university for years to come which made lying impossible.

So I just confirmed a stereotype that Russians can’t get through the day without a liter of booze.

11 thoughts on “Captain Morgan’s”

  1. I’ve had people ask me what country I’m from before (I have an odd accent) and I usually answer either the truth, or, if I’m annoyed, tell them I’m from the Solomon Islands. Who knows anything about the Solomon Islands?

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    1. Oh, that’s so nice of you! I can’t tell you how many times people have mentioned vodka to me in my life. And the sad thing is that I hate vodka. I only tried it once and hated it because it smells of dentists.

      People keep confusing Ukrainians and Russians. I often have the following conversations:

      “I’m from Ukraine.”

      “Oh, you are from Russia!”

      “No, Ukraine.”

      “Isn’t that the same thing?”

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      1. I don’t know if I’d attribute it to optimism, or to my dark humor Jewish side. I’ve been scolded and lecture at a coffee house in Buenos Aires for making jokes that involved soap and the Holocaust with another Jewish friend. Somebody tried to give us a lecture on how disgusting we were, and…hilarity ensued!!! He won’t be intervening in other people’s conversation any time soon.

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  2. – Are you the kind person who gave me a chocolate bar? If so, then thank you! I’m loving it.

    And I love that you are loving it. 🙂 It’s my little thank-you for all the interesting times I had and will have on your blog. 😀

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