Touching Socks: A Riddle of Sorts

Yesterday at the department, somebody said the following phrase, “I don’t need to touch your socks. I believe you.”

The linguists among us immediately suggested that this could well be the first and only time such a statement has been made by humans anywhere.

So let’s play a game. Can you come up with scenarios where such a statement can be made?

I will, of course, eventually reveal who said the sentence and why.


14 thoughts on “Touching Socks: A Riddle of Sorts

  1. Student coming in late to class. “I trudged through the snow in these thin tennis shoes. My feet are all wet. You can feel my socks if you don’t believe me.”

    Professor: “I don’t need to touch your socks: I believe you.”


  2. Jonathan’s scenario is essentially the one I came up with: snow, cold and wet feet, a plea for ” cold and wet feet” sympathy, and a declaration that such sympathy can be granted without actually having to touch the sock/foot in question. ๐Ÿ˜‰


  3. I think that someone bragging that he only wears silk. The person he is talking to is doubtful. The original speaker says, “Even my socks; I am allergic to all other fabrics. Touch my socks and see.” (I somehow cannot imagine a woman saying this, so I am using “he” here.)


  4. A date is telling you that he is very religious. In fact, he is so devout that for years he wore a hairshirt to create great personal discomfort so that he could better understand the suffering of Christ. However, this antiquated garment became a setback for him in the modern workplace; nobody wanted to hire this freak who wore such weird clothes. So, he started wearing normal suits and ties and began to wear hairsocks instead. This way, he can still surreptitiously suffer, observe his spirituality, and no one is any the wiser. Seeing your incredulous look, he lifts up his pant leg and says, “Feel free to touch my socks if you don’t believe me!”.


      1. I’m a blogger. Does that count? If you only had this blog and no other writings anywhere else, would you consider yourself a writer?


  5. “These new medicated socks are so great for that skin condition on my legs! They really absorb the ooze without even getting wet too! C’mon, feel my leg right here where the biggest sore is and see how dry it is!”

    “โ€œI donโ€™t need to touch your socks. I believe you.โ€


  6. I really want to know what the real scenario is! I imagine that someone is talking about wearing vibrating massage socks to get them through a tough work day. That was the weirdest thing I could come up with.


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