A discussion has begun in Montreal newspapers as to how the fine dining scene can be prevented from sliding into the horrible state so many North American restaurants of all price ranges are experiencing. Here are the questions that are being asked:
In an effort to be cutting back on waste, should customers be charged for bread?
What we should be asking instead of this meaningless question is why bread and butter even in good restaurants are always so horrible. I mean, salted butter! Bleh, brr, eww, barf, vomit. And then people wonder why they grow obese and sick. What do they expect if even butter is salted! What next? Salted apples? I would definitely pay extra just to see a non-disgusting piece of bread in an American restaurant, In Montreal, you can sometimes get good butter in restaurants but good bread of the kind you get anywhere in Western Europe, never. I will never forget this ultra-fancy restaurant visited by former Prime Ministers and such that served us these disgusting little bread rolls that never go stale or spoil. The ones that have a longer lifespan than I do because of how artificial they are.
Is the number of people taking pictures of their food in restaurants these days turning into a problem?
Only for bad restaurateurs who are afraid customers will inform the world of their sucky food.
Is it bad manners to request a doggy bag?
Again, the problem is badly stated. The real issue here is that portions you get served in the US are ridiculously huge. The size always comes at the expense of quality. As my sister told me after her recent trip to Vermont, “You know that I love to eat. But when I order a steak, I’m not prepared for the waiter to place an entire cow in front of me.” Remember, we don’t go to fast-food joints. We are talking about fairly expensive places here. Also, I hate the expression “doggy bag.” How disgusting is it? Why not just ask for a box?
Is there a dress code in upscale restaurants these days?
Sadly, almost never. People in North America are mostly unaware of the art of living and hate their bodies. This is why the food is unhealthy and the way most people dress is an exercise in self-hatred.
Should the tip be included in the bill?
I couldn’t care less because I’m not cheap and always leave very good tips. The whole idea of punishing waiters for not being perfect is so miserly as to be embarrassing.
Can customers ask that the music be turned down?
I hate restaurants that turn up the volume of the music to the point where patrons have to raise their voices to speak. Restaurants only do that when they are floundering, so this is a mark of a place on the verge of going broke. They turn up the music in hopes that customers will eat faster and leave, and then more people can be seated. If a restaurant does this, it means there is a lot of corner-cutting going on. Beware of loud-music places! They probably serve stuff that has been reheated in a microwave.
Should there be calorie counts on menus?
No, because that immediately marks a restaurant as a place for very weird people.
Do kids belong in high-end restaurants?
Kids and adults who can behave quietly and politely belong anywhere they want to be present. It is very annoying that this question is asked about kids but not about adults who get stupidly drunk and act in disorderly and threatening way or about adults who bray like horses with no regard for the auditory experiences of others.
Does a good restaurant always have a sommelier in the house?
I don’t care because I don’t understand wines but N. does and he would definitely appreciate seeing more people in restaurants than understand what he is trying to tell them.
This wasn’t asked so I will ask the question myself: What is your greatest restaurant-related dream?
Less salt in everything! American food is drowning in salt, even in very expensive restaurants! This is nothing but a trick to make people pay for more drinks but it kills the taste of everything. I still can’t get over this amazing risotto I ate in Madrid last month that contained absolutely no salt. The cheese gave it all the saltiness it needed, so why would anybody add any more salt? As a result, this mushroom risotto was practically breathing. Compare it to any North American risotto that arrives at the table slaughtered because of how much salt it has.