A photographer decided to prove that people despise her for not being thin:
Memphis-based photographer Haley Morris-Cafiero has long been aware of strangers making fun of her behind her back due to her size. So aware, in fact, that she has turned the whole concept into a full-blown photography project. Titled Wait Watchers, the series consists of Morris-Cafiero’s self-portraits in public in which strangers can be seen in the background giving her strange looks and/or laughing.
The entire thing seemed extremely unconvincing to me. I really hate these self-pitying exercises. I’m a happily plump woman and I only see people observe me with admiration and awe. This woman, on the other hand, is so invested into proving that the world hates her that doesn’t seem to allow for the possibility that the problem is not her size but:
1. The horrible clothes;
2. The dirty hair that makes her look like a public menace;
3. Standing in a way that makes it impossible for a crowd to pass;
4. And, most importantly, the fact that she is being photographed while posing with weird facial expressions.
I also wonder how many photos of people not noticing her existence or looking at her kindly and respectfully she edited out of this collection.
Remember, when people look at you, they see exactly what you see in yourself. You see a fat, ridiculous, pitiful creature, and that’s what everybody else will see. You see a beautiful, elegant, awesome person, and that is what everybody else will see.
The gaze of the Other originates inside you. And that is a position of great power. Don’t squander the power.
P.S. Thank you, David Gendron, for leaving the link to the article.
Clarissa's Blog 
Even though I think the others’ reactions against her are disgusting, I wholeheartly agree with your post!.
LikeLike
I found that there, in a radfem blog, and THIS TIME, I disagree with them. http://exiledstardust.wordpress.com/2013/04/22/human-being-is-human-in-public-gets-hated-for-it/#more-4121
LikeLike
Weird people in a fit of boring hysteria.
LikeLike
I commented there and, not suprisingly, she banned me because I don’t think like her.
LikeLike
Well she is a strange looking person for sure, who holds herself without poise, kind of like she had been dumped out of an elephant’s backside.
Whilst I understand and agree with the idea that we do not know what the “gaze” of the other really implies, apart from drawing from our own heads, I think that this epistemology, if taken too far, is fundamentally flawed. For instance, we do also learn from experience what certain actions-without-words imply. For instance, a child may learn to associate its mothers glare with an impending smack to the rump. Also, and beyond this, as adults we may learn to infer what certain attitudes imply, based on something akin to the inductive reasoning used by this child in my example, or on the basis of deductive reasoning. For instance, if somebody’s response is very different from what I would have expected, given what I already know about a situation, I may have to conclude that they’re working on different premises than I, or that they have different information.
Whilst it may pay to keep things simple in most cases by imagining that what we don’t know will not harm us, that solution is not always practical or viable. We sometimes need to go beyond a solipistic notion, “I can only know what is happening in my own head,” because it often pays to try to draw a basic outline of what is happening in the other’s head, as well, so that one may avoid any negative reactions.
The basic premise that one can get by without knowing what others think about you is predicated on society being very much as peace, with no forms of war or sabotage or any form of dynamic contention about space, ideologies, etc.
As for myself, I do study others’ reactions and make inferences about them. I’ve learned never to attribute my own intelligence or mode of reasoning to others, since that is a form of projection that gives the others a significant advantage – the advantage of my intelligence, which they would not otherwise have. Looked at closely and over time, most people react with emotion and not with intelligence or judgement.
LikeLike
A child is completely dependent. This woman is not. She freely chooses to construct a narrative of people being disgusted with her. Victimhood sells and even bad photographers can make some money from it.
LikeLike
Yes, I agree with that angle. My point in relation to discussing a child is not to refer to childishness, but to the fact that we learn inductive logic at a very early age. It’s a very useful skill to have and we all rely on it in our day to day lives. We are therefore social from a very young age, and not cocooned in an individual bubble of consciousness.
At the same time, it is women like her that make women like me almost impossible for people to understand, because people assume that when I say similar things, for instance, in referring to “the other”, that I must be seeking my own victimhood. The very trashy nature of contemporary culture, whose trashiness cannot be overestimated, makes it almost impossible to say anything valuable.
LikeLike
This comment seems pretty dead on:
“darkconnections -allow me to speak on behalf of all new yorkers… if you are standing in the middle of the f*cking sidewalk during rush hour, it does not matter if you look like a super model, you will get mean mugged.. you might even get pushed out of the way depending on the time of day. and you will get an especially dirty look if you are holding a map or taking pictures during rush hour.”
😉
LikeLike
I would also point-out that expressions caught in still photographs are not reliable indicators of mood. If you don’t believe that, then try pausing any random scene on a television show, and you will very frequently find that the actors have grotesque, ridiculous expressions frozen on their face which just look perfectly natural when you allow the scene to run normally.
LikeLike
a flicker of emotion, yes. It’s quite instructive to make videos, to see the weird stills.
LikeLike
Excellent point.
LikeLike
You could make anyone look like an asshole by presenting a weird street phenomenon and catching someone’s momentary reaction. It’s a form of entrapment, almost.
LikeLike
It is quite common for people to believe that they are the center of the universe. I bet the majority of people don’t even notice her. But of course, it is human nature to think that everyone is looking at you and judging you all the time. Especially if you have a low opinion of yourself. So, I can really understand her feelings. Her searching for “proof” of everyone constantly passing judgment on her is something I find sad, though. It will not bring her happiness.
LikeLike
She has a weird Germanic (Bavarian?) style. She seems to be imitating Tweedledum and Dee.
http://www.allposters.com.au/-sp/Alice-In-Wonderland-Tweedle-Dee-and-Tweedle-Dum-posters_i6093857_.htm
Does size and image matter more than style?
LikeLike
If those are the best leers/ridicule she could get then she’s clearly delusional. She even rigs the game by purposefully adopting weird facial expressions and odd postures. But still, mostly the looks seem to be about her interrupting the flow of foot traffic and not as much hostile as momentarily irritated. If that’s what passes for making fun then people are indeed very polite.
This was in the Daily Mail some time ago. It’s easily the most interesting online newspaper and a big guilty pleasure for me. Where else would I find about the plight of handicapped goldfish?
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2313439/Disabled-fish-swim-right-way-owner-makes-LIFE-JACKET-stop-sinking-tank.html
LikeLike
What a cute article!!
LikeLike
Kind of the opposite of this article: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-2124246/Samantha-Brick-downsides-looking-pretty-Why-women-hate-beautiful.html?ito=feeds-newsxml
LikeLike
I stopped caring that much about what other people think of me when I realized that I forget about randomly met people in about 30 seconds.
LikeLike
Good point.
LikeLike